Going to bed last night, I was unsure of what I'd feel in the morning. The last waking hours of the night, I was pretty numb. Lots of reflection, some intentionally, other things just sorta light-bulbing in my head.
To sum it up, PBU beat us in 4. I was optimistic going into this match, and some of that was completely blind. Realistically, we've never been the same after we had that 1-10 skid. One night against Endicott where we put it all together, but other than that, we hadn't played a complete match in 2 months.
Philly Bible reminded me of Vassar without the complex offense. They didn't have a ton of physical talent, but they all played their role, hustled for every ball, took what was given to them, and supported each other from the first point to the last. On the other end of the floor, we looked completely out of our element, a couple moments of things boiling over both on the court and in the huddles, followed by complete silence on the floor for a couple plays. It was a low point in my career as a nighthawk, and although I'll look back on my time here with fond memories... if my appeal doesn't go through it will be a sad way to end it.
There's a saying that Randy Pausch said which goes "Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you want", and I think that although short-term this stings, I will take SO much from this as I grow as a player and as a coach. Forgive me parental units, but as someone with 6 parents due to divorces (it's not as bad as it sounds - I have good relationships with all of them and they don't fight - so no "woe is me" going on here), I always joked around to people about learning what NOT to do in relationships growing up. With this team, it's the same thing. I've learned what a team cannot do if they expect to succeed.
While talking with one of the teammates last night, he said "I guess we found out we weren't the team we thought we were", and I disagree on that. However, we DID find out that we weren't as self-reliant as originally thought. When Dave was leaving us for Elms, we actually looked at this as a potential way to get a better coach, something that would make us even better. However... I think I learned to appreciate little things Dave did that I hadn't even realized when it was happening.
I remember losing to Vassar 30-12 in the finals last year. Dave went to every single one of us and told us to keep our heads up, we gotta look to ECAC's, the finals was an accomplishment. And I hated him for it at the time. Anything less than the Final Four was a disappointment to me. After last night? I missed that. I NEEDED that. I sat on the bench getting dressed for the bus, and the coach didn't huddle us up, didn't say anything to us, and the first thing she said in the van was how she was pissed off about how girls came to the bench after the game, and how it was never to happen again.
Forgive me for being agitated with this, but a little volleyball talk or reflection on what just happened would have been something I'd be a little more interested in hearing our volleyball coach discuss. I tend to be somewhat politically correct in my blogs, but the way we were (or weren't would be more accurate) coached this season sickens me, and the way it ended was a perfect example of how the whole season went. If you don't know where to set the bar, don't put it anywhere you please, especially low.
So where do we go from here? We may have ECAC's, but to be honest, I don't think anyone feels the significance of it last the last 2 years. Honestly? If it happens, I will play with everything I have. If it was up to me? Let the season go. The goals were Molten's. ECAC's are a consolation prize in my eyes... Even if we were to three-peat in it, it isn't going to define our season or put a nice little "finish with success" tag on the season.
Couple days of rest, going to watch some of the tournament, and we'll see if the season's over. If it is, I'll probably begin my weightlifting, haven't decided if I want to hop on the Tennis team for the last half of their season. I may just want to get my body patched up. I'll post some thoughts on the tournament now.
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