A Thank You.

I normally don't write about individual accomplishments of mine, but I'm going to change that for a moment to write about an award I received due heavily in part to a few people around me.

It's funny how certain things can just shoot a random memory back into your head. I was in Chipotle today and a Lucinda Williams (country singer most people probably have never heard of) song comes on. I have heard the song probably over a hundred times. This was the first time I had heard it in well over 10 years. The reason I remember it is because my mom and stepdad, divorced since 1999, used to play it all the time in our house in Villa Park. Immediately my mind starting racing towards memories of things that happened during that time. Quite the odd feeling, but kind of nice as well.

Tonight, I was awarded in my opinion the greatest award I've ever received, the 2009 Newbury Scholar-Athlete of the Year award. This states that I had the highest cumulative GPA of all student-athletes for the year. I had a feeling I may win it, but until they began the description of my career, I wasn't certain.

Immediately, my mind flashed to one specific memory: I was sitting in my living room, both biological parents sitting down with me (although it's not due to bad blood, this does not happen often). It is the summer of 2004, and one year after being an Illinois State Scholar graduating high school with a 3.5 GPA, I've come home from ISU with a 1.48 GPA. I was depressed, no longer interested in my major, and for the first time in my life, lacking direction of any sort. Most importantly, I was straight-up embarrassed. I had come close to meltdowns from time to time, but this was the first time I had to look my parents in the eye knowing that I had failed.

It has been an interesting 5 years. I have bounced around various jobs/career interests, and although I have had some stability in my direction as of lately, it wasn't always like this. For a parent, I cannot imagine the roller coaster I put them through, wondering if I'd ever find something I'd like to stick with. Even when I did with volleyball, my father was extremely nervous about my decision to rack up the debt it would take to come to Boston. Even with his lack of approval of the idea, he always supported me, as did the rest of my parents.

His nerves were a bit calmed when he sat down for lunch one day with Coach Dave Hildebrandt when I arrived at the school in January 2007. We went to Legal Seafood, and I basically sat there listening intently to the conversation my father and Dave were having. I can assure you that of all the things they discussed, the one thing that probably put my dad at ease was Dave's stress of good academics. When my father hugged me goodbye a day later and wished me luck, it was the first time I truly felt like a genuine comfort on his end with my decision.

Throughout the next few years, Dave helped me become a better player on the court, but more importantly helped my growth as a human being off of it. We didn't always see eye-to-eye, he didn't know the mechanics of the game all too well, but Dave was the poster child of a man making the most out of his abilities. There are people that had issues with Dave, and I'm sure many of them have some weight. However, everyone has their faults, and Dave's positives HEAVILY outweighed the negatives.

The loss of Dave this year has been harder on me than anything I have ever dealt with. Even though he was going to Elms, there is no doubt in my mind he would be just as willing to shoot the breeze with me on the phone as he did when I'd enter his office. I may not be appealing my final year anymore, but I know that if he was around, he would have been the first one to help me with the process. 

I don't know if I'll ever completely recover from his death. 

I worked hard to earn this award tonight, but the foundation to do so was built by both my parents and Dave. I wouldn't have done it without their constant support, in good times as well as bad.

This one's for them.