Saturday, December 27, 2008

Holiday Epiphanies.

As I sit here on a Friday night relaxing after a long open gym, I find myself with a mixture of emotions, some good, others not so much. I'll do my best to not be too scattered with my ramblings and see if I can come up with something somewhat enjoyable to read.

First off:This break was EXACTLY what I needed. With my home-home being in Chicago, and Newbury being 1,000 miles away, Christmas break is the only time I come home from September to May. It's a combination of relaxing from the grind of school/work/volleyball and chaos of trying to catch up with everyone in a 3-week span, all while battling the time conflicts of the holiday season.

Regardless, I think this may have been the best Christmas yet, even though it may not have been the most eventful. The sad reality of things is I'm getting older! Some of my gifts include: "The Stick" (Device used to get kinks out of muscles, was a LIFESAVER at Ramapo for NECVAS last year and I'm thankful they had one, glad I have one now as well!), a "prostretch calf device (a blue half-circle that you stretch your calves on, any player with a decent training room should know what this is), a water filtration pitcher for the dorm room, a pair of mizuno socks (SO comfortable - about time I got a pair!), and a yoga mat with cleaning solution, as I've started doing it to increase my flexibility. What happened to all the toys! :)

Meanwhile, I had the joy of watching my 4 year-old brother go to town on his presents. It was the first Christmas he REALLY understood the concept of the holiday (well, maybe not the actual meaning behind it, but the fact that presents were at hand was DEFINITELY loud and clear for him). He got some pretty cool stuff, it's amazing how much toys have changed since my generation, I can't imagine how people 10-20 years older feel! It was fun playing with him all day.

We went to my Aunt's, and it was SO nice to catch up with everyone. I picked my grandma up from her Assisted Living complex, and it was a roller-coaster of emotions regarding that. She had a great day, she had a good time overall, but to give you an idea of where she's at mentally, after spending the entire day with her and driving her back, she randomly said "I'm so glad whats-his-name took care of me all day". I said "you mean Bryan?", "Yes" she replied. After stating how I was Bryan, she gave me a funny look, then proceeded to talk about how nice I was and how she thinks I'm going to succeed in whatever I do... but in the third-person, as if telling it to a stranger. Eyes welled up (although anyone that knows me knows I can't cry, and not by choice. Blasted society hitting me with masculinity undertones I suppose), and that was pretty much that. Sad to think that the next time I see her she probably won't remember me, but that's life. I'm just glad I got one more good day with her.

So that was my Christmas. I went shopping this morning, proceeded to feel depressed about being the oldest non-parent at American Eagle (NOT because of the lack of a child, mind you), but found some nice clothes at pretty cheap prices, so that was nice. Open gym was tonight, and continued a string of nights where I've started to really struggle with something I had hoped I would never have to deal with.

I have not had your typical volleyball journey. After spending 4 years playing at my high school (which honestly? I can't even remember a lot of it. Coach treated me like garbage, I didn't learn the game very well, and didn't feel that I brought much to the table), I had surgery on my foot, and after 18 months out of action, ran into the right people that started jump starting my passion for the sport.

I began what I feel is my REAL volleyball career at 19, at open gyms. I wasn't anything special, but I hustled for every ball, sometimes very carelessly, which has left me with a few hip scars to prove it. I also was very polite to teammates, and although I have a mean streak regarding my competitive drive, I never treated people good/bad based on their athletic ability. I also played in rec leagues in the area outside of playing USAV, and after 2 years of this, finally got my foot in the door thanks to Coach Dave at Newbury.

Although I have continued to improve every year, slowly moving up in levels regarding tournaments I play, I continued to stay in touch with those that helped me along the way when I first started out, and hit the same open gyms now that I did when I first started (The open gym I went to tonight was the first open gym I ever attended, and regulars from that night were still there). I always stay true to my roots, because without the support/guidance of these people, I wouldn't be where I'm at today.

People have always complimented me on being able to turn off the competitive juices and just have fun regardless of who's playing and what the scores are. I've met plenty of high level players that refuse to play open gyms unless its top-notch competition. The thing that concerns me this break is I find myself having issues shutting it down for these open gyms, and although I don't call anyone out personally or point fingers, I do take losses harder than I have in the past, and find myself a bit more flustered at the end of the night than I used to be.

My best friend/teammate Josh and I have discussed the evolution of players in volleyball. Although they improve gradually, we have a "plateau theory", basically involving having a breakout game, where you're able to sustain that increase from there on out. Something about that game STICKS with you, whether its the confidence, the epiphany of a new level you may not have known you can play at, or other factors.

At BU, I had one of those plateau games. On top of that, I felt a definite change in my mental play. Our team's energy was up, and although I kept it on our side of the net, I found myself much louder, energetic, and aggressive on the court. And I liked it. A lot. I've always been a hustle player, but I felt like I really broke out of a shell that tournament, and I didn't want to lose that.

Fast forward to the open gyms. You simply cannot compare it. I had a great team tonight, but we had one guy that was a bit shaky, who you never knew if he was gonna go underneath you for the block/hit, who didn't have too much energy on top of that (which is understandable, it's easy to get intimidated when you're surrounded by a higher level of players. He admitted it, and I made sure to tell him it was no big deal, that he was doing fine. Hope he keeps working at it). I don't want to become one of those people that can't play an open gym because "the level isn't good enough", but it's hard to get amped up and play my game when you've got players like that on the court.

So the paradox is this: I have the realization that a) Open gyms are OPEN, b) players need to start somewhere, I was that guy 4 years ago and people were patient with me, and c) that I know I've had fun before and need to let go of the frustration of losing from time to time. However, on the same note I've found a new fire when I'm on the court, an energy that I feel helps me step up my game, and I find it difficult to maintain it while on teams like this (especially given the fact that I believe at BU I fed off of my teammates, who are some of the most passionate players I've been lucky enough to be next to on the court). Where is the happy medium?

You hear about older players saying that they started to figure stuff like this out just as their physical skills begin to decline. I would love to be an outlier and learn it now. The downsides of being 23... I'll get over it. Only a couple more open gyms, then before you know it I'm back with my teammates at Newbury and it's time for the season to begin!

Hope everyone's holidays are going well! Not sure how many readers I have (I would LOVE if someone knew how to get a counter on here for how many people visit), but if anyone has a question/topic they'd like discussed, I'm very flexible in what I put on here. Let me know!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

First Post From Back Home

I would have posted a blog earlier, but simply have been too tired to write all the thoughts that fly through my mind on a regular basis. However, after an hour and a half at my physical therapist, I feel as good physically as I can remember feeling in a long time. I really wish I could take them with to Boston, they aren't just nice people but phenominal at what they do. I have yet to go in there for something without a prompt diagnosis/treatment to keep me moving forward. I've been going to them for 3 years now, and wouldn't be able to play at the level that I do without their guidance.

Moving on: After a 15 1/2 hour car-ride, Josh and I finally arrived back at home, and it's been the break I desperately needed. I was on the brink of a breakdown at school, and getting a rest from the regular grind couldn't have come at a better time. I ended up doing pretty well, with all A's except for one A-, which I wasn't pleased about, but I suppose I could have worked harder to get the grade I wanted. Lesson learned.

Seeing the little brother has been great, and it never ceases to amaze me how much he grows both physically and mentally each time I return. I've spent the majority of my trip playing with him as I've struggled to lock down a job from any of my previous employers short-term. Rather than rant on that as I could, I'll just say the aftermath of the financial crisis has not made me regret my decision to add one more year to get a second degree and leave it at that.

It's been great catching up with old friends, and I'm sad that I can't stay longer, because although I love it in Boston, it doesn't have the feeling that Chicago has. Chicago is home. Chicago just feels right. I can't put it into words, I just know when I'm here I feel like this is where I'm supposed to be. It's been nice finding out how everyone has been since I've been gone, and it seems like the majority have been doing well.

Obviously, I've been playing ball, and it's been a good time so far. I feel very strong physically, and feel that I'll be ready to go come our first practice in January. I've kept in touch with a lot of the guys, and they're just fired up to get on the court. For whatever reason, the team seems to have that killer instinct that we were missing last season. Add that to a couple people making it a point to go out of their way telling us we'll struggle this season, and you've got a hard-working, motivated team with a chip on its shoulder.

On a bit darker note... I've found myself a bit shaken up about a dream I had about Coach Dave the other night... not going to go into details, but I find myself exhausted by the whole process. I realize that it's one of those things you'll never fully recover from, but I wonder if things are getting better or if I'm repressing my emotions. I suppose I have to just keep taking it one day at a time.

Anyways, I realize I never posted my thoughts on my individual performance at the BU tournament, but I'll write something tomorrow a bit deeper than just the tournament. For now, it's off to Betsy Ross to play a little co-ed ball.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Tournament Recap Part 2

I figure the recap will be a three-parter: The first one was strictly results. This post will deal with the team aspect of the tournament, and the third will be my personal experience of the tournament as an individual.

As stated in the previous post, we ended up winning the tournament in strong fashion, winning every set we played. I was extremely impressed with the poise we showed, having a couple sets begin in a rough manner, but staying positive, pushing back, and eventually breaking the other team down.

Despite being exhausted from a 2-day tournament, I found myself waking up in the middle of the night to watch the finals at 4 am with my roommate Josh. Watching the film from this tournament was eye-opening on many levels. I'll do my best to keep it organized.

Chemistry: Definitely the strongest of any team I've been on. The starters had all of one day to practice together, but I felt like we clicked better than we had all last season. You look at how we react to both good and bad plays, and there's a genuine enjoyment playing together. We didn't necessarily dislike playing together last year, but the bond between teammates is much stronger this year, and I feel that it shows. On top of that, the offense was MUCH faster than last year. James is running shoots to the outside, our middles are constantly running 31's/1's/slides, and we're utilizing our backrow attack more than ever before. On top of that, I feel like our defense was much more effective, with strong blocks and scrappy defense picking up the rest. Serve receive had a couple sloppy moments, but with a setter like ours, we can still put a decent hit on a pass even if it's not quite perfect.

Diversity: Our offense is extremely balanced this year. On the second day, four of our hitters averaged over 2 kills a game, and we hit over .400 for 4 of the 7 games. Tally (our nickname for our setter) did a great job distributing the ball evenly, with each of the four hitters having at least one 4-kill set. Towards the end last year, one of our strongpoints was having a three-headed monster in Erik Kostantski, Mark Thomas, and myself, with all of us starting to peak at the right time, normally averaging 3-5 kills a game. With the potential of four players able to play at that level, I think the sky's the limit for our offense this season. Add that with a deep bench, and it gives us a lot of stability.

Passion: From the first game to the last, every single guy on our team was fired up, and after watching us on film, I think the only teams I've seen with the same energy happened to be in the National Championship the last two years. It remains to be seen if we can keep it going until April, but I feel that this group has a desire, has the goal, and is willing to work hard for it. I've always been pretty motivated, but I found myself playing with a fire that I'm not sure if I've ever had before, being more vocal, feeding off of others and hopefully giving them a bit of a jumpstart as well.

One thing that gets me from this weekend is two words that have been constantly floating around about us: cocky and arrogance. From fans to opponents to coaches, people seem to always use those two words to describe us, and the amount I've heard it in the last 48 hours is quite surprising.

When I think of those two words, two things come to mind. A) People who think they're better than others due to whatever they do, and B) People that think they're good, but don't have the work ethic necessary to match their perception of themselves. We are a loud group. We are confident. We get on the court with a killer instinct. Personally, I want the other team to walk off the court feeling like they had no right to be on it with us in the first place. However, we don't talk under the net. We work our asses off year-round, hitting the weight room religiously in the fall. Myself and others are constantly going to other teams' games to support them, and feel that each sport brings something to the table for the school.

I used to feel obliged to defend our team when people would say these things, but you know what? It's pointless. If a classmate/teacher feels that way about us, then they simply don't know the real us. And if another team/coach feels that way? Stop whining. Work harder. Play better. There are only 85 NCAA teams in the entire country, from Division I to III. Imagine if there was only 85 football/basketball/baseball teams. Can you imagine how competitive it would be?

It is a privilege to play at one of these institutions. I feel bad for the schools that struggle to recruit, but honestly, we're here to win a championship, and if you're on our schedule, I'm doing everything I can to make sure we win that match. Frankly, it'd be arrogant or cocky to do anything less. I used to get pissed off when talented players would start mailing in a game when they thought the win was secure. Giving anything less than 100% is implying that your opponent isn't worthy of your best effort, and I just don't beleive in that mindset at the collegiate level of athletics.

That being said, I hope the teammates have a good break, and can't wait to hit the ground running at our first official practice on January 5th. Off to bed for now, but Part III will be up tomorrow!

Monday, December 8, 2008

Tournament Recap: Part 1

I wish I could have posted Saturday night, but I was exhausted, and we had a somewhat early start on Sunday, so I proceeded to just crash and get some much-needed rest. (Note: I ended up writing the majority of this yesterday, but ended up having to actually do schoolwork, so I wrapped it up tonight. Sorry for the delay!)



Honestly? I could probably rattle off 10-20 pages about this weekend. However, I won't torture everyone reading and try and break it up piece by piece. Let's start with the results:

There was a lot of excitement going into this tournament. 32 teams, 6 of them being from our conference, one with 3 of our alum, and other random people I knew here and there (A friend from Chicago was actually playing for Cornell - I had no idea he went there! Was crazy to see him). The starters did some reps on Friday, but honestly, that was the only time we had played together during the 4 weeks of preseason.



First match Saturday was against Syracuse. The former setter from Sacred Heart was still there, which I was pleased about because I definitely wanted to settle the score from my freshman year. Syracuse is a big team, but the mechanics are iffy and overall their intensity is lacking. On the opposite end of the spectrum, our team played a pretty complete first game, and despite a couple missed serves beat them 25-15. The second game we were a bit sloppy, trailing 18-13 at one point, but started chipping away and picked up some big defensive stops. We won the game 25-23, with our opposite Josh picking up HUGE roofs on the setter (who now hits outside) both for the first and last points of the match.



The second/third matches were against Georgetown and Bryant (a college from Rhode Island). Although Bryant did manage to steal a game from a sleeping Syracuse, both teams were pretty raw. This allowed us to get everyone some playing time, and everyone really pulled their weight when they were in the game. We won all of these games pretty convincingly, and I even got to set for a couple rotations to let our setter Matt blast away at some attacks! He's got an unreal shoulder, was a blast getting to run the offense a bit.



So we ended the day 6-0, the point differential probably being around +50. After watching film, I had a MUCH lighter load than at Springfield, posting a 9-3-18 hitting line. I had 4-5 aces, matched with about 6-7 errors. DOH! Definitely a streak server, hopefully with repetition I'll knock it off. Matt did a great job distributing the ball evenly, and I feel that it allowed the hitters to keep their arms/legs fresh for day 2.



Day 2: We had a 10 AM match against Central Connecticut to get into the Gold (top 8 teams) tournament, one game, 30 points. They had a decent setter (although we definitely utilized our size mismatch on him on the outside), as well as one or two bangers on the outside. We started this game a bit sloppy, missing quite a few serves, letting balls hit the ground, and being a bit less crisp on serve receive. However, at about the 15 point mark we finally started hitting our stride, putting up a few nice blocks. On top of that, Mark (middle) and Matt (setter) REALLY started gunning their serves, throwing CCSU out of their offense, giving us downballs, and allowing us to make them pay for it. An end result of 30-20, and we're off to the Gold bracket!



Our first match is against Rivier's 2nd team. Unfortunately, Rivier 1 (who still looks very strong) came out flat against Emmanuel in their challenge match, and ended up losing 30-26. A couple thoughts on that: Both teams are in the NECVA with us, and I suspect that Rivier will come out on FIRE when they meet again. Apparently the players didn't know that a loss would send them to the silver bracket. Also, Emmanuel is a VERY big "peaks-and-valleys" team, and although Rivier helped them with about 7 missed serves and probably another 7-10 hitting errors, Emmanuel did what they had to to win the match. Rivier picked up some very strong recruits, and I believe we'll be battling them for the top of our region this season. Looking forward to it, although I was disappointed that a Rivier/Newbury Final was out of the question.



Although Rivier is very deep this year, their second team didn't have the experience we did, and We came out hot from the get-go. Although they made a brief push towards the end of the second game, we pretty much controlled the tempo from the first point to the last, taking a 25-14 25-20 win (first score may be off a few).



This led to a semi-final match against Boston College. I was excited for this one, as they had beaten my squad at the Springfield Tournament. However, with Mark/James/Josh back in the line-up, I knew it would be a completely different story.



We actually came out pretty flat in the first match, I beleive at one point we were down 15-10. However, as usual we kept chipping away, and after some aggressive serving I started hitting my stride hitting both the bic and hut, and with the help of some phenominal defense, setting, and draws from the middle, I put down points 22, 23, and 25 to complete a 25-23 victory. We kept at it in game 2, posting a 25-20 victory that sent us to the finals!



This led to a showdown with Lost Boys, which featured a mixture of Rivier/Newbury Alum. What a match! I watch film to break down/analyze things, but I replayed this one and just enjoyed the rallies. Defense was phenominal, hits were big, strong serving, it was truly what finals should be made of. With some stellar play by everyone, we managed to win the match 25-23 25-21, finishing as the champion, winning all 13 of our sets during the two days.

Part 2 will be posted tomorrow!

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Morning of a Tournament

It's about 45 minutes before we leave for the Boston University tournament (As I'm used to having 9 am start times, getting the afternoon session was being spoiled), and I feel about as prepared as I can be. There are 32 teams in the tournament, including fellow NECVA New England (our region) opponents Rivier (2 teams), Emmanuel, Mount Ida, and Wentworth. Our first match is at 2 pm against Syracuse, and I can't wait! Hopefully the former Sacred Heart setter is there, not that I hold a grudge from losing a 5-setter to him 2 years ago or anything.

Woke up in the middle of the night (4:30 AM), and was awake for a good 2 hours before falling back asleep again. This constantly happens the night before a tournament, so I'm used to it. I went to bed somewhat early, and slept a lot the night before (I always make a note to try and sleep extra the day before, knowing I probably won't sleep too much the next night). I just spend this time visualizing the tournament, jump serving, hitting bic's, tooling people from the outside, anticipating on defense and getting the digs, and anything else that can come to mind. When I finally get to the game, I'm ready to go!

We had our last pre-season practice yesterday, overall I think it went well. It was one of my better practices on the outside, and surprisingly I wasn't sore at all after going pretty hard. Looks like my body's finally getting used to the grind! I'm excited to play middle back for the first time in a LONG time, as I was always left back with my USAV team, and right back for Newbury the previous 2 years. However, I feel like I've done well in practice, and am excited to attack from the backrow, as I feel that's been one of my stronger points so far.

Coach named captains yesterday, and it's a relief to have that over with! She had even said that she had been concerned of not having a leader out there, and although many people do so by example, it's nice to have some organization. Tim, a senior for us, is definitely the spark plug for the team. Countless times we've been flat, and he's been able to jumpstart us with his energy, both when he's on and off the court. Mark, the other captain, is simply a monster in the middle, tallying over 500 kills last year, and looking even stronger in practice this year. I'm happy to see it, they both deserve it!

Expectations today are uncertain. The only thing I DO expect is to go 3-0 in pool play. However, I have no idea how the roster will play out, as she hasn't exactly named starters or a specific serve-receive system yet. With a variety of talent levels we'll be facing off against today, I do think it's safe to say that everyone will get a chance to show what they're bringing to the table after completing our preseason. She mentioned that I will probably spend some time back on opposite, but I think it will be minimal, as I'm starting to hit my stride at the left pin and Josh is coming around quite nicely on the right.

Anyways, time to finish getting ready. Recap tonight! Wish us luck!

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Practice, Physical Strain, and Politics.

After a nice Thanksgiving Break, we were back to the normal grind this week, having practices both Monday and Tuesday. Both went well overall, although I'm still nursing a sore thumb from a bad block, which is making me a bit more conservative overhand passing on defense. It's getting better faster than I had originally thought it would though, and I don't beleive I'll tape it come Saturday, as I don't like how it affects my contact while hitting.

Overall, the team is doing well. We still have struggled to have all the guys at practice (seems like almost everyone's flight was delayed getting back to Boston), so we haven't had more than 10 people the last 2 weeks. It will be a relief to have a full squad on Friday (hopefully), get the starters some reps together, and prepare for the Boston University tournament, which runs this Saturday and Sunday.

There are 30 teams, so it's going to be wide open for who wins it. Our pool is supposively Georgetown, Syracuse, and Bryant (school from Rhode Island?). I hear that Bryant is a bit of a weaker club, but I haven't seen them play. Syracuse had a heavy hitter last year on the outside, who set for Sacred Heart my first year at Newbury, but other than him they didn't have too much firepower. I remember watching Georgetown, but nothing sticks out in my mind from it, which makes me feel like they were somewhere in the middle. Hopefully we take care of business on our side of the net and make all of that meaningless!

My passing is starting to get back to where I want it to be, and I'm picking up more digs at each practice, which means I'm starting to anticipate better. The pleasant surprise of the preseason has been hitting backrow attacks, which I may be hitting better than in the front row. The downside to that is I feel like my front row attacking isn't where I want it to be. I'm hoping that part of it is that we haven't had our starting setter at practice, but I think a bit part of it is simply not snapping down enough. We shall see. Off of practice today, two more on Thursday/Friday, tournament this weekend, then preseason is over!

My body is starting to get pretty sore, but I think it's just part of the grind. You read blogs from guys like Reid Priddy, who talk about how they sometimes wonder how they're going to play later on that night, only to go out and get it done. I keep reminding myself that despite all the soreness I've felt the last two years, I've only sat out one game due to a rolled ankle, and had it been a crucial match I could have suited up. On top of that, this article from ESPN (http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/columns/story?page=tisdale-081203) reminded me of how a person's outlook can overcome any physical obstacle. I know I vented about guys like Marbury in my last post, but athletes like Wayman Tisdale remind me that there are still good guys out there.

"You can never give up because quitting is not an option. No matter how dark it is or how weak you get, until you take that last breath, you must fight."
--Wayman Tisdale

Which brings me to the political portion of the blog. As of yesterday, we were thisclose to losing our Spring Break trip, with a couple guys even already talking about what we should do instead of going to California. After finding out that everyone still wanted to go to California, myself and a couple others began hitting the phones, coming up with a plan, and with about an hour to spare did what needed to be done to keep the trip alive. It's going to take a lot of work, and people need to be accountable, but when you want something and work hard for it, I firmly believe anything is possible.

I feel bad, because I do feel like a couple people were being crucified for simply making decisions that 18-20 year olds tend to make due to lack of life experiences. As I told coach, I know that I made similar mistakes when I was that age, and if we're a team, the older players should help guide the younger ones to help them avoid the same mistakes they made. Although this whole fiasco with fundraising has caused some stress, I firmly believe that working together to get back on track will help our team bond in the long run. Plus, when we're on the beach in March enjoying warm weather and playing doubles, I know it'll be all worth it.

I'm going to end the blog there as I'm exhausted from the day, but I wanted to make a brief update on how things are going. I've been enjoying getting my thoughts in writing, and hope that others get something from reading it. I was talking with someone from NECVA (the conference we play in), and after taking a look at my blog he mentioned the possibility of doing one for their website too! I would be very interested in that. I will keep everyone updated on how things go.