Today, my stepdad (I'll be calling him Tracy from this point forward - I can't recall a time he wasn't Tracy to me) turns 29 for the 22nd time (50 for those of you that doing math) today. It's odd being the same age as him! As I reflect on my life, I don't know where I'd be without him, but it wouldn't be as good as it is now.
My mother and Tracy were married by the time I was four, and I can't remember a time where he wasn't around. Truth be told, it wasn't always easy. He was the 'bad cop' when someone needed to be. Perhaps it was because my mom coddled me (she did), or the fact that he was busting his ass working during the day and finishing school at DeVry at night in order to support us. He wasn't just a stepdad, he was an older brother - he'd hold my hand crossing the street, but we'd be playing mercy (he NEVER let me win either - my hand still hurts from some of those battles). He taught me how to talk trash the hard way - by beating me both physically and psychologically at any game we played. Then, if I actually got the upper hand on him, he'd tell my mom I crossed the line, only to stand behind her and cup his hand into the letter C (which meant "See?", as if I shouldn't try to beat him). An older brother with the parent card... it was dangerous.
Truth be told, leading up to their divorce I was almost hopeful it would happen at times. Yet when they sat me down and told me, I remember my first thought being "Where is Tracy going to go?!?" - when I was younger, he would always tell me that he'd love to move to Colorado - I was certain that's what would happen immediately. However, I found out years later that he was fearful of where I'D be going when they decided to separate.
Without going into too much detail, it ended up being Tracy and I living together for my high school years. He was extremely tough on me growing up, and we both were dealing with a lot of anger issues in those high school days - sometimes we took it out on each other. Things even escalated a few weeks before high school ended where I moved in with my dad. However, those high school years were a blessing in disguise - I couldn't tell you all the things I've learned from Tracy, but I'll give go ahead and list a few of them.
I learned how to do math REALLY well (at the age of 4, he had me doing long division - I was always ahead of the curve in math). I learned how to type from him (In 4th grade, I could type 90 words per minute, maybe today that's somewhat common but in 1994 I was a bit unique in that department). He taught me how to build my first computer at the age of 13. By 15, I was quite domesticated, cleaning most of the house on a weekly basis. He taught me how to iron clothes, which I needed going to a private catholic high school. I attribute my passion for road trips to him - numerous times he did the majority of the driving getting us to Illinois to Florida and vice versa - the man is a machine behind the wheel.
The physical lessons were nothing compared to the life lessons he taught me and support he showed me at my darkest times (even if it didn't resonate right off the bat). He taught me not to be a sheep and do things because everyone else did (AKA wanting to wear Tommy Hilfiger clothes in 7th grade), taught me that common interests are not relationship bonds (Still the best piece of advice I've ever received regarding relationships after I was crushed post-breakup). He was definitely pivotal in developing a sense of humor (mostly at my expense, but luckily I was calloused to being ridiculed by the time I got to college).
He's quick-witted as anyone I've ever met. He can be RUTHLESS with his sense of humor one minute, but get him with an animal and you'll see his softer side (sorry if I wasn't supposed to admit it). The care he showed my grandma when she was struck with dementia showed both care and mental toughness I can't imagine being able to display, and he did it for years.
When I was in my early 20's and needed to get out of my living situation, he took me in with no questions asked. We've always stayed close, and I can't imagine where I'd be without him. I may not get to see him as often as I'd like to, but it's always the same - lots of laughs, deep talks about life, and always leaving better than I was when I first got there.
I have a great relationship with both my mom and dad, but I'll always have a special bond with Tracy because at a moment where he had the opportunity to walk away and do whatever he wanted with his life, he chose to stay where he was and raise me. It baffles my mind the sacrifices he made for me, especially when I realize I was nine years old when he was my age (the REAL 29). I feel incredibly lucky
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Happy 50th birthday Tracy - thanks for everything you've done for me.
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