Controlling the Controllables - How to Deal with Rough External Circumstances as an Athlete

As we approach Club Tryouts, I have the opportunity to go support our girls as they compete for their respective high schools. After the game if they aren't chasing a bus to head home, I'll ask them how their season is going. Some have good experiences, but many club players struggle with the transition as the culture can be much different than what they're used to experiencing. Some things I hear on a regular basis include:

* The coach plays me at a different position than I play for club.

* The coach plays favorites with people from the club they coach at.

* The coach plays everyone equally so we're not as competitive as I'd like to be.

* The coach doesn't have a volleyball background and makes us do things in an unorthodox manner.

The last one is probably the most common - I ran an indoor camp for a week this summer, and when we were practicing serve receive, I noticed most of the girls were straight-legged with their cores bent forward. When I tried adjusting this, they said their high school coach yells at them if they do it any other way. As a 14-18 year old, I understand how frustrating it can be to have one coach teach one method, only to have another teach them to do it differently!

The one common theme with players' frustrations is that they are usually focusing on external circumstances. Unfortunately, players can't control who coaches them, they can't pick their teammates, and they don't have a lot of say in what their role will be on a team. But there are still SO many things that they can (and should) focus on controlling, even when they aren't in the ideal situation.

 Do not let the things you can't control negatively affect the things you DO control. This is one of the most crucial pieces of coaching I feel we can give our young players.  Above everything else, I'm a firm believer that the game teaches the game - every repetition a player takes is valuable! It can be very easy for an athlete to become distracted regarding this. If they're focused on how the coach just yelled at them or how their teammate isn't doing things right, it will deter them from being able to do their job to the best of their ability. Every time they touch the ball is an opportunity to better themselves.

Whatever role your coach gives you, do it to the best of your ability! I remember in high school playing a different position each season - libero as a freshman, right side as a sophomore, outside as a junior and setter as a senior. It would have been nice in some ways if I could have focused on one position, but long-term I feel lucky that I worked on multiple aspects of my game.

I had a little video I put together which is how my eventual college coach found me. It was about 3 and a half minutes of hitting outside - with two right side hits. It was those two hits that caught his eye, and I ended up starting my first two years for Newbury as an opposite. The school was the perfect fit for me academically - and had I not been able to play that position, he may not have contacted me as we were already loaded at outside hitter.

If your coach puts you in at a position you've never played before, do it to the best of your ability. That's all you can control, and the coach is putting you there for a reason. Which goes to my last point:

Focus on the process, not the results! I tell the athletes this all the time, and it's easier said than done. 50 percent of teams win, and 50 percent of teams lose - winning doesn't always mean you played well and losing doesn't mean you played poorly. When we make a mistake and dwell on the result (missed serve, hit out of bounds, shanked pass), we lose the ability to use it as a learning moment - the WHY it happened and HOW to correct it. "Ugh, I missed my serve" will only make you more tense the next time you go to the line. "My toss was too low, I'll throw it higher next time" gives you the opportunity to better the next ball. 

Your team may not be as successful as you'd like. You may not be in your most comfortable position. You may have a coach that yells at you more often than not. These aren't ideal scenarios, but only YOU can decide whether or not to let them negatively affect your ability to perform. Remember: the teenage years are about building a foundation - and even negative environments will make it easier when you decide to look for colleges to play for in the aspect that you'll know what coaching philosophies/team environments you thrive in, and which ones you want to avoid.

Control the Controllables kids - never give someone else the power to make you give less than 100% physically and mentally - do it for yourself!

Good luck to teams as they enter the second half of their high school season!

You Only Turn 29 Once a Year - Happy Birthday to My Stepdad

Today, my stepdad (I'll be calling him Tracy from this point forward - I can't recall a time he wasn't Tracy to me) turns 29 for the 22nd time (50 for those of you that doing math) today. It's odd being the same age as him! As I reflect on my life, I don't know where I'd be without him, but it wouldn't be as good as it is now.

My mother and Tracy were married by the time I was four, and I can't remember a time where he wasn't around. Truth be told, it wasn't always easy. He was the 'bad cop' when someone needed to be. Perhaps it was because my mom coddled me (she did), or the fact that he was busting his ass working during the day and finishing school at DeVry at night in order to support us. He wasn't just a stepdad, he was an older brother - he'd hold my hand crossing the street, but we'd be playing mercy (he NEVER let me win either - my hand still hurts from some of those battles). He taught me how to talk trash the hard way - by beating me both physically and psychologically at any game we played. Then, if I actually got the upper hand on him, he'd tell my mom I crossed the line, only to stand behind her and cup his hand into the letter C (which meant "See?", as if I shouldn't try to beat him). An older brother with the parent card... it was dangerous.

Truth be told, leading up to their divorce I was almost hopeful it would happen at times. Yet when they sat me down and told me, I remember my first thought being "Where is Tracy going to go?!?" - when I was younger, he would always tell me that he'd love to move to Colorado - I was certain that's what would happen immediately. However, I found out years later that he was fearful of where I'D be going when they decided to separate.

Without going into too much detail, it ended up being Tracy and I living together for my high school years. He was extremely tough on me growing up, and we both were dealing with a lot of anger issues in those high school days - sometimes we took it out on each other. Things even escalated a few weeks before high school ended where I moved in with my dad. However, those high school years were a blessing in disguise - I couldn't tell you all the things I've learned from Tracy, but I'll give go ahead and list a few of them.

I learned how to do math REALLY well (at the age of 4, he had me doing long division - I was always ahead of the curve in math). I learned how to type from him (In 4th grade, I could type 90 words per minute, maybe today that's somewhat common but in 1994 I was a bit unique in that department). He taught me how to build my first computer at the age of 13. By 15, I was quite domesticated, cleaning most of the house on a weekly basis. He taught me how to iron clothes, which I needed going to a private catholic high school. I attribute my passion for road trips to him - numerous times he did the majority of the driving getting us to Illinois to Florida and vice versa - the man is a machine behind the wheel.

The physical lessons were nothing compared to the life lessons he taught me and support he showed me at my darkest times (even if it didn't resonate right off the bat). He taught me not to be a sheep and do things because everyone else did (AKA wanting to wear Tommy Hilfiger clothes in 7th grade), taught me that common interests are not relationship bonds (Still the best piece of advice I've ever received regarding relationships after I was crushed post-breakup). He was definitely pivotal in developing a sense of humor (mostly at my expense, but luckily I was calloused to being ridiculed by the time I got to college).

He's quick-witted as anyone I've ever met. He can be RUTHLESS with his sense of humor one minute, but get him with an animal and you'll see his softer side (sorry if I wasn't supposed to admit it). The care he showed my grandma when she was struck with dementia showed both care and mental toughness I can't imagine being able to display, and he did it for years.

When I was in my early 20's and needed to get out of my living situation, he took me in with no questions asked. We've always stayed close, and I can't imagine where I'd be without him. I may not get to see him as often as I'd like to, but it's always the same - lots of laughs, deep talks about life, and always leaving better than I was when I first got there.

I have a great relationship with both my mom and dad, but I'll always have a special bond with Tracy because at a moment where he had the opportunity to walk away and do whatever he wanted with his life, he chose to stay where he was and raise me. It baffles my mind the sacrifices he made for me, especially when I realize I was nine years old when he was my age (the REAL 29). I feel incredibly lucky

Services Offered by Progression Volleyball Consulting

After a long weekend in California for the final AVP tournament of the year, it's time to get back to the grind! I'll be using this post to explain exactly what I'm offering with my company (as well as initial price-points).

The goal of Progression Volleyball Consulting is to educate families on how to a) properly conduct a college search so they can look at schools most compatible with their wants/needs b) help them learn how to promote themselves to the institution in a manner that will help them obtain as much merit aid as possible. I believe with just a few hours, I can help people have a better grip on the college search process that may save them thousands of dollars a year on college, all for a fraction of the cost of what recruiting agencies are charging. To clarify: I DO NOT do the college search for families - I help people learn how to do the search themselves in a time-efficient manner and help them feel comfortable knowing that they are making the right choice when signing on the dotted line!

All that being said - who am I trying to reach out to in order to help and how does it work?

1) Middle/Smaller-Sized Juniors Volleyball Clubs

Why: I realize that some clubs have College Liaisons. I think some of the larger clubs that have the financial ability hire people specifically to help get their players exposed to the college coaches around the country. However, most people tell me that their liaisons have focused primarily on sending out videos for them or contacting coaches promoting the athletes. I also know a lot of clubs don't have the ability to hire someone to provide this information, or have someone that actually has coached at various levels and has an understanding of what most coaches are looking for.

How: I have seminars I've created that run about 30-45 minutes that cover the following information:

* The difference between options players have (NCAA Division I/II/III, NJCAA, NAIA, Club, Intramurals)
* Starting the College Search Process
* How to Separate Yourself from the Pack

I'd like to come to clubs with laptop and projector in hand and sit in front of athletes/parents to give them information, as well as answer any questions they have.

2) Schools 

Why: I believe there are many players that have the ability to play in college but might not play club for various reasons - Financial hardship, other sports, other extracurricular activities. As someone who had a 3.5 GPA, was a member of the National Honors Society, participated in various clubs/sports, I still didn't have someone to educate me on the opportunities I'd have and how to utilize my profile to unlock as many financial opportunities as I should have had - and this was at a prep school with a stellar reputation!

How: I'd like to come to schools and speak in front of their volleyball teams (or entire athletic program - while I can't be quite in-depth on evaluating players and giving them an assessment on what level they'll fit best in, I can give them a lot of information on how to do their search) and educate them on how to start their process - from telling Freshmen/Sophomores about how their grades will offer more opportunities for them as athletes, to Juniors/Seniors on where they should be in their process and how to start whittling down their choices, I hope to come in and help alleviate some of their concerns on where to start, which is where most of the athletes I've worked with get anxious.

3) Families (One-on-One)

Why: I met with about 50 families last season at Top Flight, and I can tell you no two situations were alike. I was lucky enough to have a club that included my services free of charge for all traveling team players, and they were able to meet with me as necessary to look at where they were at and guide them on where to go next. With only 1-3 meetings, I was able to help families build a plan of attack to a) Figure out their wants/needs on and off the court b) how to find the schools that compliment those wants and needs c) contact the school in a manner where they could separate themselves in a positive manner.

How: I sit down with families and begin by asking where they are in the process. Once we establish that, I begin to ask the athlete questions and give feedback: What do you want on the court (what are the individual/team goals you'd like to accomplish?), what do you want off the court (field of study, school size, geographic locations), how to contact coaches and use your story as both a player/person to separate yourself from the pack. I'll also give them an assessment on what type of attention they'll get at all levels, as well as tell them what I'd recommend given on what balance of academics/athletics they said they'd like to achieve.

Also, I'll be offering:

Video Editing

Why: When I coached at Mercer, 90 percent of the videos I saw had very simple adjustments that could have promoted the player in a much more efficient fashion. I'd like to help families make sure they're putting their best foot forward with their video - you don't get a second chance at a first impression!

How: I RECOMMEND taking clips that you feel best promote the athlete and letting me choreograph how to put the video together. I can do this pretty quickly - to give you a reference point, I went to an athlete's house and in less than an hour took a 9 minute video and re-organized/condensed it to 3 and a half minutes. Videos can show great potential/ability - it can also show poor habits to people to the trained eye. You want to make sure you promote the good qualities!

If you know of clubs/schools/families that can use my services - PLEASE share this blog with them. They can contact me at ProgressionVBConsulting@gmail.com , as well as follow us on Facebook or Twitter . I'm based in Chicago but plan on traveling the country to educate as many families as possible and help them in their quest to find a school that will best help them grow as both a player and person!

Why Outsourcing the College Search Process Costs More than Money.

As I began speaking with families at my club regarding the college search process, I wanted to get as much feedback as possible in order to make sure I was catering my presentations to meet the needs of the families. There were a lot of responses that helped me sculpt what I talked about so that I was covering the areas that families seemed to have the least amount of information on. There was one statement that I heard on a regular basis, and while I understood exactly where they were coming from, I felt it was a dangerous road they were going down to take that approach.

"My (daughter/son) is already so busy with everything else they're doing, there just really isn't enough time to do the legwork".

I've said it before and I'll say it again. My question is this: If we don't let realtors just give us information before we sign a mortgage, or car salesmen give us all the good specs of a car before buying it, why do we let colleges sell their schools to us? Why don't we do a better job of educating kids on how to think about what they want, both on and off the court - and make them find the right fit for them instead of going to the schools that sounds the best? Why do we think an outside party can do the search for us and actually have a good gauge on whether or not the student-athlete will connect with the school? They might be able to find common interests, but that doesn't replicate how the student-athlete will feel when they step on the campus, how they'll connect with staff/other students, or how comfortable they'll feel in general with the environment.

What's more valuable to a family: The investment of money in order to save time knowing you can find a school for the athlete to attend, or the investment of time in order to a) receive as much merit aid as the student-athlete's profile enables b) have peace of mind knowing that the people that TRULY have the athlete's best interests in mind were the ones that dotted their i's and crossed their t's to make sure they found the best fit?

When I was at Mercer, I was easily getting anywhere from 25-75 emails a day from recruits. I was working 80-100 hours a week, and even with that, there wasn't enough time to respond to all of them. Which ones were getting my attention? The emails that came from the player, NOT a parent, NOT a recruiting agency. The emails that showed an athlete that wanted to attend Mercer, not a student that wanted to just play volleyball. The emails that showed the athlete did a little legwork and researched my school, not the one that I looked at and said "They could change my name at the top and send this to 100 different schools. The ones that I felt had a genuine interest in the school, so that my time invested in getting to know them had a real chance of bringing them to our institution.

If I received a profile from a recruiting agency, I would look at it for about 30 seconds to see what the physical attributes were, which is something else people need to realize. Profiles are a good way of getting your name out there. It's also a good way to get written off by a coach if your physical attributes are well below what the norm is for the level you want to play, without them even getting to know what type of player you are, how you affect your teammates in a positive manner, or how you can play bigger than you are if you're good at tooling the block/have great timing. Every now and then, I'd run across a girl that touched 10'+, or a libero/setter that impressed me with film - but it was a handful of times in an entire season. I have yet to meet a collegiate coach that tells me they'd prefer a profile from a recruiting agency over a contact directly from the player.

For the 99% of players that are not going to get a college scholarship, it's that much more important to do the legwork yourself! There are plenty of athletes with great academics, talent as a player, and personality traits. They find a school that interests them, and they put their application/essay (for schools that have an essay requirement) in before speaking to the coach. They write about things that they feel are important with no true knowledge of the inner workings of the school. They potentially leave thousands of dollars per year of merit aid because their application is thrown in with the masses. This is called being a "Stealth Applicant"

If you were applying to work at a company and knew someone at the company, you would use that person as a source for insight on how to best go about the process, whether it be questions to ask, how to handle the interview, or gather information on what they're looking for in a new employee. So why wouldn't you utilize the coach as a resource before applying? I have heard of some coaches saying they don't get involved with that - I assure you those are not coaches that are competing for conference/national championships.

Recruiting is not just about coaches finding the best talent - it's about giving student-athletes an opportunity to belong to an environment where they will grow/thrive and be prepared for the real world - that includes helping them learn the process so they can unlock all merit aid they're eligible for. If they don't make an effort to provide that, you should look for someone who does!

That being said, if student-athletes took fifteen minutes a night to do the research/send out emails the right way, they could get even better results than what they're getting from these recruiting agencies. They would have be more comfortable knowing they're making an educated decision on where they're investing their time the next four years. They'll have a better relationship with the coach/understanding of what the school will provide them. On top of all that, if they do it right, they will know that they've utilized their grades/extracurricular activities to get themselves the best award possible. I hope to help people learn how to maximize their results as time-efficiently as possible in order to do this comfortably.

I will continue to write on various topics that I feel are important - if you have a subject that you'd like to see addressed, please don't hesitate to contact me at ProgressionVBConsulting@gmail.com - also follow us on Facebook/Twitter!

Why I Coach/The Most Important Piece of Advice for New Coaches

Last night, I had the pleasure of seeing my Uncle Paul perform a concert in Waukegan, IL. I've seen him perform numerous times during my childhood while visiting him in Scottsdale, but this is the first time I was old enough to really appreciate it (although I was one of a handful of people in the crowd who couldn't tell you where they were when Pearl Harbor was bombed - let's just say when he performed on the same night as Garth Brooks and the Zac Brown Band only an hour away, it had no effect on anyone's ticket sales). I really enjoyed his music, but it was something he talked about in between songs that got me really thinking.

He told a story about the Dean of Music at UC-Berkeley addressing an incoming freshman class. The Dean asked to see a show of hands for anyone that was hoping to be an entertainer upon graduation, and the majority raised their hand. The Dean then said: "Upon graduating, I don't want you to think of yourselves as entertainers, I want you to think of yourself as caretakers, as doctors." He talked about how my grandparents always taught him to leave things a little better than he found them, and how that was what music was really intended for: To leave people a little better than they were beforehand.

I think coaching is very comparable to that. I think about the most influential coaches I've had the privilege of playing for. My father taught me how to be competitive in a respectful manner, taught me about attention to detail, taught me on a team that probably had more disparity between the top and bottom players about how everyone has an important role, and to make sure everyone respected that, even if theirs was bigger. Bob Vilsoet was the first volleyball coach I had (8 years after I started the sport) that really taught me how not to set ceilings for what I thought I was capable of, and to go for them with no fears or insecurities. Dave Hildebrandt at Newbury complimented that nicely by teaching me how to then work towards those goals, never settling for mediocrity or letting frustrations with things I couldn't control affect the things I could work on in order to get there.

All very different lessons, with one common bond: These weren't lessons for sports, these were lessons for life.

I stuck with my sport, but the reality is most athletes go on to other professions. I coached 170 athletes this summer for our sand program, and the reality is, a small percentage of them may decide they want to continue the sport in college. I enjoy the x's and o's and mechanical adjustments that coaching brings, but that's not what keeps me coming back year after year with the same passion: It's the things I can teach them that they can take everywhere they go.

I'm not teaching them how to win a volleyball game, I'm teaching them how to set a goal and the work it takes to achieve that goal. I don't teach them how to deal with bad refs, or other teams that play "dirty", I'm teaching them how to not let adversity created by external circumstances deter them from doing the things they can control internally. I'm not teaching them how to lose with grace, I'm teaching them that when life will throw them curveballs contradictory to their expectations and hopes (and it will), that it doesn't mean they are a failure, that they must learn from it and move forward, that just like there will be other matches, there will be other days.

It's a given that with repetition and instruction, they'll become better volleyball players - but if I'm not developing better human beings, I'm not doing my job.

I am so happy (although starting to feel older) now that former players whom I have the privilege to now call friends are starting to coach. I received a message from one of these players last week, asking about how to get his girls to move and be more aggressive in serve receive as they were having serious issues with it. I gave him some really basic drills that work for me, but it was the mindset of the drill that I felt had the biggest impact on him. I told him: "The reality is, if a passer is trying more to not make the mistake than they're going to try and make the play, they're not going to move well to the ball because they will be tentative/insecure with what they're doing. You've got to set up a culture in practice that it's OK to make mistakes - if you're not making mistakes, you're not growing. BUT, they have to be the right mistakes, the aggressive ones, the ones where the player is trying to make the play - then you can let the players know the adjustment they have to make and move on. You have to let the girls know the difference, and you have to support them in this - that's what they look for you to do."

His exact words: "Hmmm. I'm kind of a d*** coach. So that might be why too." (Before that sounds absolutely terrible, he explained that the head coach coddles so he tries to be the enforcer).

While it's not my style, I have no issues with coaches that are yellers, that crack the whip on their players, that are more Bob Knight than John Wooden. But know this: Bob Knight's players knew that he was the way he was because he knew those players could achieve great things, and his goal was to help them become the best they can be. Too often, I see coaches use his mannerism and their #1 goal is for the team to win. Players pick up on this - they know when a coach cares more about wins/losses than the people working towards them. And if they feel this way, there is almost no chance that they'll play/practice with the passion/enthusiasm that's required to help them reach their peak potential.

The irony is, if a coach is that concerned about wins and losses, they better get used to this. The great Pat Summitt once said regarding players: "They don't care how much you know until they know how much you care", and that quote has stuck with me ever since I read it. Be competitive, push for greatness - but make sure when it's all said and done, you're leaving every player a little better than you found them.

Tomorrow, I'll be writing about why families doing the college search process vs. having a recruiting agency do it for them is incredibly important when looking for the best fit. Enjoy your Sunday!

Things Every Parent/Young Athlete Should Know, Part 2 (Club)!

On Tuesday, I wrote a blog post (link) discussing some topics that relate to people looking to playing volleyball in college. Today, I'd like to discuss some things more focused on the short-term: The club season. I firmly believe many frustrations that people experience as club parents/players could be avoided if they had a true understanding of what to expect. When expectations aren't met and you're talking about a parent investing time/money into their child's development, of course they're going to speak up about it! Here are some things I've tried to relay to my parents/players of teams I've coached before we even step on the court for our first practice.

1) Clubs do not make Division I Athletes. Division I Athletes make Division I Athletes!

I can see Club Directors cringing upon reading that sentence, but I stand by it. True Story: I was on a driving range with a friend last summer on a Wednesday morning, and there were only two other men on the range with us. The following conversation took place:

Person 1: Yea, she just started gymnastics.
Person 2: Oh yea? How's she liking it?
Person 1: So far so good, although I just read an article about getting into for volleyball. She plays for . Full ride scholarship too. Gonna have to get my daughter to play volleyball.

Want to take a guess at how old his daughter was? FOUR.

We actually went over and just started talking with them a little bit. But in my opinion, this is the #1 misconception that parents have, which ultimately leads to why they're frustrated. Clubs market their "elite" athletes and where they're going to schools (and if there are scholarships, you better believe they're mentioning it). Parents/players see these advertisements and think if they go to these clubs, that's what will happen to them. And it couldn't be further from the truth.

Let's go back to that player that they had mentioned as I actually knew the background. That parent read an article and thought "Player goes to this club, player gets scholarship, so club helps player get the scholarship". What the parent doesn't know is that this girl was a VERY athletic, 6'2, and actually left her prior club to drive multiple hours each way to make it to practices to be on this team she was on. I'm not saying that certain clubs won't develop players better than others, but clubs will not turn Division I athletes into non-Division I athletes, and turn non-scholarship athletes into scholarship athletes.

At my club, our top 18's team practiced 3 times a week for 3 hours. That's 9 hours of instruction out of 168. I can train them exactly as we trained our girls when I coached at Mercer, but the reality is, if they sit on the couch all the time when they get home, if they're not taking care of their diet, if they aren't sleeping enough, and if they aren't of a specific physical ability, it will not turn them into something that they aren't. And the numbers don't lie: 99% of girls don't get to play Division I Athletics.

So when you're looking at clubs, don't get caught up in how many national championships they have -  that rarely has any true indication on how the club will treat your daughter if she isn't ducking to get through the doorway or one of the top athletes in the program.

If you're asking "So how do we find a good club?"....

2) If you really want to feel confident that your athlete will get a good experience, try to get feedback from parents/players on the regional teams for that club.

I was 5'5 and 95 pounds when I was in high school. I worked as hard as I could at my craft - every conditioning drill, every practice, every match. I wasn't a naturally talented kid, but I wanted it so bad - and I remember being in the shadow of the guys that were taller, jumped higher, and hit harder. It wasn't a good feeling (although it kept me hungry and I'm probably better off for it), but I ended up having the privilege to play in college and play competitively as an adult.

So when I see these clubs look at players solely at their potential for bringing them national titles and somewhat overlooking kids that may not be as tall/fast but have the drive, it hits a sore spot with me. I'm surprised it doesn't bother more people to be honest. I joined my club because I can look parents in the eye and tell them whether your child is a star 18 year old or a 14 year old that's just starting the sport out, they will get a coach that will care about them and give them an education of the game. Unfortunately, this isn't the case across the board with clubs. I've heard of kids from other clubs that were on "elite" teams, got injured, and when they played on a lower team for the same club got a completely different experience. I've seen firsthand regional teams with coaches that look younger than the players, who stand on the sideline with clipboard in hand and basically just watch their team stand on the court. I've seen A LOT of very basic adjustments not being made by coaches of regional teams of these same programs that will boast about the accolades of their top teams. The list goes on and on.

If you know parents of other athletes from a club that aren't on the premier teams, get feedback from them - because those are the ones that will paint a more accurate picture of what playing for the club is like. Clubs are always going to market/promote their "flagship" teams, and from a business perspective it'd be crazy if they didn't. However, if you were going to fly coach on an airline you had no experience for, you wouldn't ask someone flying first-class about how the experience will be. That analogy is more accurate than we may want to admit!

Let's talk a little bit about once you're in the club.

3) If your athlete does not get on the team they want, don't tell them they were robbed,  tell them to work harder and let the results speak for themselves.

Our club has over 300 athletes. We hold 3 tryouts dates for 3 hours each. Typically, a dozen or more coaches are walking around evaluating players on every skill set, and then we compare notes. The process is exhausting, but we go above and beyond to make sure we get things as accurate as they should be in regards to putting players in an environment that best suits where they need to be.

That being said, there are always a small handful that are going to slip through the cracks, that we look back and and say "in hindsight, maybe they could have gone up/down a team" - but in my experience, it has never been the parents/players who come to me or other coaches and openly say they feel that way. It's the kids that put their heads down and grind at every practice, working at their craft, not worrying about the things they can't control and instead focus on making themselves a little better every time they step on the court.

The moment your athlete comes home disgruntled at what team they are on and you tell them that they were robbed, you immediately set the table for a season of focusing on "I shouldn't be on this team" instead of "I didn't get what I wanted, so I'm going to work incredibly hard this season to make sure I never have to feel this way again". I was cut twice from basketball, and truth be told, I was incredibly lazy - while it was one of the hardest lessons I learned, it was definitely the most valuable and changed the way I approached playing volleyball. "Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you want" - when your child comes home upset, simply tell them that they have a long career ahead of them, and to keep working hard. It may take years in some cases, but I've never met a kid that truly worked as hard as they could that regretted it (and they almost always got the results they wanted as well!)


4) You are not paying for your child's playing time - you are paying for your child's education/development of their skill-set, and that's done in practice.

I feel if this was broadcasted to parents from Day 1 at all clubs, A LOT of issues would be avoided. I hear parents all the time tell me "we're paying a lot of money, I don't want to see my daughter sitting on the bench". I realize why parents get upset if they only see their players at tournaments - it comes off as them paying thousands of dollars to have their kid watch the sport.

I tell my parents before we start: I do not and will not guarantee playing time. What I do guarantee is that at practice (where we spend much more time than we do at tournaments anyways), every single player will get my attention, and they will be better physical/mental players than they were when they started. They will have a better understanding of what they're doing and why they're supposed to do it. I will help them with improving their mechanics as well as knowing where they should be on the court and what they should be looking for on the other side of the net. That education comes at practice, and that's where you will reap the benefits of your hard work come tryouts/college.

Truth be told, some players may be destined to start on the sidelines if they're a little behind the curve physically - and before you get protective of your child, recognize that from 6th-8th grade, I was the lone bench member of my grade school volleyball team as we only had 7 kids. It was probably the best thing that could have happened to me, because I learned not to let the things I couldn't control (my coach's decision to have me sit next to her because they felt it was best for the team) affect the things I could (How I practiced, how I supported my teammates on the sideline, being mentally prepared to enter the game when my opportunity came). As I moved up in my volleyball career, I almost always started on the bench for my new team, but because I knew that with hard work and persistence, I could work my way into the starting rotation, even if it took a full season to get there.


Typically, players use club as a way to a) make their high school team b) prepare them to play in college. So tell me: How does entitling a player to playing in games simulate anything they'll see in either of those two environments? Parents: If you want to see your athlete on the floor more, don't blame the coach. Don't go to the director to complain. Have your athlete email/call the coach and ask for an evaluation on where they're at, as well as feedback on what they need to do differently in order to see the court more. This will a) avoid conflict b) give you constructive criticism on where your athlete needs to improve - and this is probably some of the most valuable information you can get as the athlete progresses!

5) Being on a team with 12 kids is not detrimental to your child's development - in many cases it may be beneficial.

Another thing I hear a lot of parents/players talk about is the frustration of being on a team with a lot of kids. If the fourth point isn't understood, then this one almost always accompanies it. "How is my athlete supposed to improve if they're on the sidelines every tournament?"

Players spend 2-3 times as much time on the practice court as they do playing matches in tournaments by my math. I've coached teams with 7-9 kids and teams with 11-12. While I may be able to give more individual attention to athletes with lesser numbers, I can give my players MUCH better preparation with more kids, because I can set up more game-like scenarios for them. I can give them more 6-on-6 situations, which will better prepare them for matches. I can keep my players more accountable, as they SHOULD always be aware of the fact that even if they're starting now, there's always someone that wants their spot, and they should never take it for granted. It is sometimes detrimental to the player if they realize they have no threat to losing playing time - it can make them complacent/lazy, because they don't have something to work for. The more competitive I can make my practices, the more I will get out of my players, and having a roster of 11-12 allows me to do that. Also, it allows teams to stay competitive even when you're not at full strength - I have never coached a club team that didn't deal with a) injuries b) players missing practices/tournaments for other sports c) vacations d) family emergencies. When you have a small roster and have no backup at certain positions, it can literally make or break you to have those players at tournaments. Having a deeper team gives you some cushion for all the above circumstances.

For the parents of players 7-12 on the depth chart, think of it this way: Every practice, your athlete will be playing against competition that will push them hard, that will challenge them to raise the bar for themselves every drill, that will prevent them from setting a ceiling for themselves and getting comfortable. THAT is more valuable than automatic playing time, and it will toughen your child up and prepare them for the challenges that will face them come tryouts for high school or going to compete at the collegiate level.

On my next blog, I'll discuss the college recruiting process. As always, if you have any questions/comments, contact me at ProgressionVBConsulting@gmail.com - I'm scheduling visits to clubs/schools and would love to speak to the families at your school/club!

Things Every Parent/Young Athlete Should Know, Part 1 (College)!

As tryouts for club season creep up on us, I have been thinking a lot about the last year and a half I've been at Top Flight. When I coached college, I would hear terrible stories about the experiences coaches would have with "Helicopter Parents" - however, once I got to Top Flight, I found that a) there weren't as many situations as I thought there would be b) while many of them were different in nature, they all started with the same concept: "I DON'T UNDERSTAND..." Below is a list of things that came up a lot in my college seminars/meetings that I think all parents/players need to know as they're beginning their search process.

1) Club should NOT be looked at as an investment for Athletic Scholarship money.

Of all the things I've been told clubs do to sell their programs to families, I think this one is the most damaging. If every school in the country used every scholarship slot that was available (which isn't the case due to lower budgets at some schools), 1.4% of athletes would have the opportunity to get an athletic scholarship. Many of those athletes are what I've called "Genetic Outliers" - the reality is, there are some athletes that work as hard as they can and have a great skill-set, but if they aren't a certain height or can only jump-touch high enough, college coaches will typically take the freak athlete that they can redshirt and train to be a better player. To give you a reference point, when I coached at Mercer University, our LOWEST jump touch was 9'4 and that was one of our Liberos!

2) Should an athlete want to get the athletic scholarship, they should realize they'll work for every penny of it.

People glorify the Athletic Scholarship without realizing the responsibility that's going to come with it. 6am weights, go to class, individual practice, team practice, going to the trainer to take care of the body, film study sessions, making up classes when you have away trips.. While this may not like to hear this, the idea that there's a true student-athlete balance at that level is a stretch.

I've sat with so many players that tell me they want to play Division I... until I tell them the workload that comes with it. The reality is, it's completely normal to hear of what the expectations are for that level of volleyball and to decide that maybe it's not for you. Consider this statistic: Of all the players that participate in Division I volleyball, 0.3% of them actually go overseas and make their living playing professionally!

Talent aside, I tell athletes: If you can't look yourself in the mirror and say you truly enjoy the challenge of giving every workout your all and enjoy that grind every single day, then you probably won't enjoy playing Division I volleyball (and that's completely normal/acceptable).

3) Division III Athletics does not have to be "low-level".

I ask players that come to me saying they want to play Division I "Why do you want Division I instead of Division III?" and almost always I get a variation of "I just feel Division III is too low". I follow up by asking if they've ever seen Division III volleyball, and most of the time they say no! It's very easy to get caught up in things other people say, but make sure to do your own research and come to your own conclusions! In the Chicago suburbs, we have a wonderful example of what a Division III program can be in Elmhurst College. I have always appreciated the attention to detail the coaching staff has incorporated in that program - the kids move like a well-oiled machine. Their system is as complex as Division I, and it shows as they're nationally-ranked every year and always in the hunt for a National Championship. What's the difference between their program and Division I programs? It isn't the skill-set, it's the physical attributes of the players. Middles are 5'10-6'0 instead of 6'2+. Outsides/Opposites are typically 5'8-5'11 instead of 5'10+. You may have superior athletes lacking a little on the fundamentals side, or vice versa. The quality of ball is great - it's just played a little closer to the ground in regards to the attack/block! Before ruling out Division III, either go see a game in person or webcast some of the top teams in the country, then make your decision.

4) Just because Division III does not offer Athletic Scholarships does not mean that athletes cannot utilize playing a sport to help find more merit aid.

This is one of if not the biggest reason I felt the urge to create Progression Volleyball Consulting. Truth be told, if someone has the talent to play Division I, they will be found - the amount of time coaches put into the recruiting grind is staggering, and with the internet, it's never been easier to watch more players with less time and find all the diamonds in the rough. However, what about the other 98% of kids?

I had a 3.5 GPA in high school. I was a member of the National Honors Society. I was part of various clubs and played sports at my school. However, I didn't get a lot of scholarship money for how well-rounded I looked on paper? Why? Because I was a STEALTH APPLICANT.

Stealth Applicants are people that apply to a school without interacting with someone on campus. It could be an admissions counselor, someone from registrar, OR, it can be a coach. Truth be told, there are a lot of intelligent, well-rounded kids looking to go to college. By not contacting anyone at the school, they had no idea if I was truly interested in attending, or if I was just applying to a bunch of schools. Any person that had the same grades I had but actually developed a relationship with someone at that school was going to get a better look, just like having someone at a company that can help you get your foot in the door for an interview.

As an athlete, this is a HUGE advantage for you. When I transferred to my institution to play Division III sports, you better believe I was able to get more $ than I would have as a stealth applicant. Let me clarify that statement before whistle blowers misinterpret it: Being an athlete does not get you money you aren't eligible for/don't deserve - being an athlete can help you promote yourself to get EVERYTHING you deserve. A coach can look at your profile and help you sculpt it in a manner that speaks loudest to the institution as they know what the school values better than you do. And that is something that every single athlete should utilize when looking at schools!

5) If you play Club Volleyball and have a love/passion for the game, there is an opportunity to play in college somewhere!

One of the most enjoyable experiences for me is to see the look in a player's eye when I tell them they're capable of playing college volleyball when they truly didn't think the opportunity was there. Truth be told, if a player has a basic skill-set and a work ethic, there are schools out there that would appreciate their services!

I mentioned Elmhurst College above - there are also schools on the other end of the spectrum. I've seen schools pulling kids from their basketball/soccer teams to fill their volleyball rosters - perhaps their coach from the year before left and didn't recruit, perhaps the academic standards / financial obligations are higher than the norm and make it difficult to recruit. There are many Division III/Junior College programs that offer a great education but are a little more raw in the athletic department - an athlete has to make sure it meets both their on/off the court wants, but if a player TRULY wants to play and has played organized volleyball throughout high school, I firmly believe there is a school out there for them. It just takes a little legwork/research to find them!

The key word in #5 is "Opportunity". Players have to recognize that the school may not meet ALL of their wants. I went to a school that to this day still doesn't have a gym on campus. There were only 1,000 students that attended. We had to raise funds and work concessions for a local Division I school in the off-season to keep the program afloat. But we were a hungry group of individuals excited for the opportunity to play the sport we loved, and it was an experience I'd do all over again in a heartbeat. Players will need to weigh their desire to play vs. everything else that does (and should) matter to them when choosing an institution.

That was a lot of information regarding the college level! Tomorrow, I'll discuss things that are in relation more to an athlete's club experience. Should anyone have any questions/topics they'd like to see more information on, please contact me at ProgressionVBConsulting@gmail.com . Have a good Tuesday!

Progression Volleyball Consulting

When I was a senior in high school, I remember visiting my guidance counselor. From 1st grade forward, I always was ahead of the curve in math, able to compute numbers in my head faster than most people my age. Everyone told me how I'd be some math guru somewhere, and I had come to accept that. My conversation with my counselor went almost word-for-word like this:

Counselor: What would you like to do?
Me: Well, I'm good at math and I'd like to make money.
Counselor: Actuarial Sciences is currently the #2 profession in the country - it deals with insurance and risk assessment.
Me: Sounds good! What schools offer it?
Counselor: Illinois State has a great program - the person that heads the department is world-renowned in the field.
Me: Cool!

I visited Illinois State on a beautiful spring day, went on a tour where they told us all the incredible things the school had to offer me, and made my decision to go there. 3.5 GPA, National Honors Society, Illinois State Scholar, affiliated with clubs/sports - I thought I was going to thrive when I went there.

A year later, I had a 1.48 GPA and found myself sitting with my parents and telling them I didn't want to go back. This was not because I was a bad student - Truth be told, I didn't go out and party myself out of the college - it simply wasn't the right learning environment for me and I felt completely overwhelmed by the culture. That's not a shot at the school - I had many friends that thrived there. While everything I learned about the school sounded great when I went on the tour, it didn't line up with my core wants/needs as a student.

I proceeded to go to Harper Community College and had a great experience there, then transferred to Newbury College, where I thrived, finishing with a 3.84 GPA. I don't regret my path, but I do wonder about how it could have been made smoother. What I wish my counselor would have said was "You say you're good at math, but do you have a passion for it?", or "Actuarial Sciences is one of the most lucrative jobs in the country, but the workload it takes to study and pass the tests can be strenuous, take months of studying, and will require more focus/effort than anything you've probably done up to this point. Are you willing to make the commitment?".

I wish he would have asked me about what I wanted to do with my life, what purpose I wanted to feel for whatever job I ended up taking. Not because I would have necessarily have had answers, but because I would have had to think about it and get the gears turning then, instead of having the reality check that I had no idea about what I wanted to do with my life at Illinois State. That was a lesson well learned, but it accounted for $13,000 in loans.

As I moved my way up the collegiate coaching ranks, I began to realize that I wasn't the only one that had this experience. From Junior College to Division III to Division I, there was a lot of selling being done by the schools, and the majority of kids were just letting the schools tell them why they should go there, instead of asking questions and thinking about what THEY wanted from college. Yet most people are shocked when I tell them 1/3 of students transfer from their original institution. My question is this: If we don't let realtors just give us information before we sign a mortgage, or car salesmen give us all the good specs of a car before buying it, why do we let colleges sell their schools to us? Why don't we do a better job of educating kids on how to think about what they want, both on and off the court - and make them find the right fit for them instead of going to the schools that sounds the best?

I've been at my juniors club for a year and a half, and they allowed me to sit with all the families and educate them on the process. The feedback has been so positive - Almost every meeting parents/players are telling me how they had no idea about a lot of the things we discuss, as well as how much more comfortable they are with the process. I help them take their wants/needs and tell them how to search for schools that fit them - with the internet, it's never been easier!

What troubled me was when I started hearing from my families about recruiting agencies contacting them as young as sophomore year, telling them if they hadn't started contacting coaches that "they were way behind". Of course, these agencies would be willing to catch them up - for a fee. These companies are charging anywhere from $700 up to $2,500, and all they're really doing are things that the families could do on their own if they had the knowledge.

With the cooperation of my club (which I'm incredibly thankful for), I've started my Progression Volleyball Consulting with the intention of helping high school athletes find the college that will help them grow to be the best person they can be, the school that gives them the student-athlete balance that they want - all at a fraction of the price that these recruiting agencies are charging. I hope to de-bunk the myths that I feel have been placed by various groups, that players HAVE to play Division I to get financial assistance, that the schools should be recruiting players, instead of players setting the expectations they want and looking for the school that fits that criteria. For the amount of time and money that an athlete invests, they should go somewhere that appreciates them, not just somewhere that will take them in. With 1,500 schools, I have no doubt with the proper research, athletes are capable of finding that place.

I plan on speaking at schools/clubs to talk about the difference between all the options athletes have (NCAA/NJCAA/NAIA/Club/Intramurals), how to start the college search process, and how to separate yourself from the pack when contacting coaches/institutions. I plan on educating families on free resources they can use online to further educate themselves on how to look for schools. I will give athletes and their families an honest one-on-one evaluation on where I feel their athlete has the best opportunity to get the experience they want, as well as edit/create their highlight videos. Again, all at a fraction of the cost of what recruiting agencies are charging families. My goal is to have people not find any college that will take them, but find a school that they feel gives the individual the best chance to reach their full potential both as a student as well as an athlete

I've made the company's Facebook/Twitter pages public this morning, and a website is already in the works. I look forward to speaking at schools/clubs to give them information, as well as hosting seminars and working with families one-on-one. I am based out of Chicago but plan on traveling to anywhere in the country that has schools/clubs interested - if you or someone you know may be interested in what I'm doing, please contact me at ProgressionVBConsulting@gmail.com.

I look forward to helping kids all over the country in their quest to finding the right fit for them! Feel free to contact me with any questions/comments you may have.