Dad and I 'running' the Krispy Kreme Run in February 2012.
Today, my father turns 51 (Or perhaps it’s his annual 29th
birthday). I have a very unique (and I
feel blessed) life in the aspect that I have 6 parental figures – and each one
has sculpted my personality in a positive manner. However, I feel it’s evident that my
personality is most similar to my father’s – and that’s probably why I’ve been
lucky enough to have a lot of the success I’ve started to have as a young adult. I don’t think I could ever put into words how
thankful/appreciative I am for everything he’s done for me over the years, but
it’s worth a shot:
Growing up, I saw my father on the weekends – and while they
are still my favorite two days of the week for different reasons, I thoroughly
enjoyed them at a younger age. We would
always do exciting things, whether it was go to the arcade, play sports, or
find some other random event to go to.
Most weekends, he would take me to my cousins’ place, play quarterback
for all the neighborhood kids in a friendly game of football, then pass out on
the couch for the rest of the day as we would play on our own. While I never understood the naps when I was
younger, I certainly understand them now!
Once my cousins moved away and I started making my own
friends in grade school, the role of ‘cool dad’ only grew bigger. Every weekend we’d pick up a large group of
my friends and hang out at my apartment.
I always called my dad’s place the ‘Fortress of Solitude’ – we were able
to be ourselves there. The language wasn’t
always clean and the jokes were dirty, but at the same time, there was always a
respect given to each person and it was never malicious towards one
another. I can’t tell you the amount of
$ he spent on dinners/events we went to and participated in, but I assure you
his standard of living could have been much better had he not given many of my friends
and I the best childhood we could have asked for – I will always be
appreciative of that.
My father built the foundation for me regarding athletic
activity. From 5th to 8th
grade, he coached my junior high team in basketball – Let me tell you: While I enjoy coaching and have a passion for
it, my dad is the best coach in the family.
We were a VERY successful team: To this day I can tell you our overall
record was 99-28, with 5 league championships (We played in 2 leagues each
season) – but lessons went far beyond wins and losses. He taught us how to play the game hard, but
with class. He knew every single player
had a role on the team and made sure to utilize them, as well as continually
remind them they were important. He knew
when to push us and when to let off the pedal, and when it was all said and
done, he left us all SO much better than he found us, both as players as well
as people. Once I got older and our
class was of driving age, I would regularly get calls from friends that popped
by his place to let me know they were there – and they weren’t looking for me. To this day a large group of us get together
for a mini-reunion, and he’s always the focal point.
People that know me know that I can be honest and firm (OK,
maybe you’d say blunt and sometimes something worse than that) – and I get that
trait directly from him. The intentions
are always good, as they were with him.
I remember being in 6th grade, in the drive thru at Burger
King on York. Dad was trying to explain
to me that I had to start working harder if I wanted to keep up with everyone
as we got older. I was a bit arrogant at
the time, so I wasn’t really receiving the message. He looked at me and in a matter-of-fact tone
said “If you don’t start working harder to improve your game, you aren’t going
to make your high school team”. I balled
my eyes out: How could he say that to me?
I was cut in high school.
Twice.
Looking back on it, I appreciate what he did for two
reasons: He told me something I NEEDED to hear, not what I wanted to hear. But
more importantly: He let me make the mistake.
Because although he was right, at a younger age, sometimes I needed to
touch the hot stove to learn the lesson (in this case, two times). The reality of the situation is although I’ve
had a great run with volleyball, it only happened because I fell short in
basketball and learned from that experience what the value of hard work really
was. Some parents, especially as
coaches, would have force-fed the sport down my throat: He let me make my own
choices.
In a time where we constantly deal with people that can be
deceiving, my dad is probably the most genuine person I know. You may not agree with everything he
believes, and there will be heated moments: But never once have you had to
worry about him saying one thing when he really thought another. He has always been my harshest critic as well
as my biggest supporter. He’s always put
others in front of himself – and in the moments where he goes off, it’s almost
always because someone’s asking for it. He can play off being a tough guy… but
I’ve seen him in a room with animals: He has a soft side just like everyone
else. While he jokes that he’s never
wrong, he’s probably gone out of his way to flat out say “I was wrong for that
and I’m sorry”, even when the other person wasn’t expecting it. I’ve learned so much from him, and accountability
is definitely one of those traits.
Which leads me to life lessons: If I had to use one sentence to sum up what I’ve
learned from him, it’d be easy: “How does your actions affect others?” When I was younger, this wasn’t always a good
thing. If someone was supposed to give
me a ride somewhere and they bailed, I would call to see if he could help me
out. He’d usually harp on me a bit, and
I’d roll my eyes and think “This wasn’t my fault” instead of the reality of the
situation: It wasn’t his either. After
he was done, he’d always come through.
That’s probably what makes my dad most special – he ALWAYS
comes through. We are both alpha
males. We’ve butted heads
constantly. There were times where I
felt he blew up about something that wasn’t that big of a deal, and in reality,
it was more about the principle of the matter than anything else (I know, talk
about being my father’s son on that one).
But when I really screwed up
and called him knowing I was in deep, it was like he had a sixth sense for
knowing when I already had the lesson, and he’d bail me out.
Throughout the years, I realized that this works not just for negative actions, but positive ones as well. I am confident when I say most people are better off for having known my father - and I make it a goal to leave the same positive impact on others. He is without a doubt one of if not my biggest role model.
Time and time again, during our best and worst times, he’d
re-enforce the fact that when it’s all said and done, he loved me, was and
always will be in my corner. Although I
may not have always appreciated it in the heat of the moment in my adolescence,
it shouldn’t have needed to be said: His actions spoke louder than words ever
would.
Happy birthday to my hero – here’s to many more!
