Monday, March 24, 2014

My Time at Mercer University

In 2010, I was the Assistant Coach at Mercer University for Women's Volleyball. For some of you reading this, that name probably stands out more than it would have a week ago as their Men's Basketball team just upset Duke in the first round of the NCAA Tournament, the first time the institution has ever won a tournament game. A senior-heavy team, most of the players that led the team to victory today were freshman when I worked there. While they were eliminated by Tennessee yesterday, the way they played as well as the fan support they had made them the darlings of the media for 72 hours.

Let me tell you: to this day I vividly remember how their work ethic came off to me. Every moment we weren't in the gym it seemed like they were in there getting individual reps, and if they weren't getting those reps because the court was ours, they were in the weight room. There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't see them working hard. Years of those reps led to Friday's accomplishment, something bigger than them, a memory that will probably stay with them as one of the greatest moments of their life until the day they die. It was a beautiful moment to witness from a thousand miles away, and I couldn't be happier for them. A lot of memories flashed back as I watched them celebrate their victory, and I felt like it would be a good opportunity to write a little blurb about my experience at Mercer.

The reality is, and a lesson I try to teach every team I coach, is that 50% of teams will always lose, and they don't always have that storybook ending we love so much as sports die-hards - "It's not if you win or lose, but how you play the game" is a really nice way of saying "Sometimes you're going to do everything right and still fall short". Truth be told, the Women's Volleyball team at Mercer in 2010 didn't generate much press with their 14-18 record. However, what their accomplishments were from a distance couldn't properly describe what great players and better people they were.

I met the girls in February in 2010 - while the facilities were breathtaking to a person who was a year removed from playing for a team without a gym on campus, the thing that really stood out to me was the drive these girls had. Our team was talented, but not the biggest/most athletic from a Division I perspective, but they had INCREDIBLE heart. I've met with teams I'm interviewing to coach for, and know when they're asking questions because they're supposed to be asking. These girls had a genuine care for who was coming in to help them in their quest for success.

When I finally arrived to coach, we hit the ground running - although teams definitely got a jump on us. We were predicted to finish 8th out of 10 in our conference - which would have put us outside of the conference tournament. Our season started against a tough non-conference schedule, beginning the season 2-10.

Our girls didn't have that "go-to" physical outlier, the one that at 20-20 could tell her team "we got this, set me the ball and we'll finish this off", but we had depth that no other team had. After awhile, we recognized that while most teams had an advantage on us with their first or second options, we typically were deeper with our 3rd-5th hitters, and could find a mismatch to utilize by the end of the match if we just saw who was successful as the match progressed. This became our nitch, and we started gaining momentum, finishing the rest of the season 12-8 and making the conference tournament.

That may not have been the fairytale ending that we always dream of as athletes, but the reality is, those girls worked SO hard to get to that point - they pushed themselves and those around them every day, from 6 am weights all the way to when our last practice would conclude 12 hours later. They were selfless - it wouldn't be easy to ask 5-6 hitters to take 30 attempts one match and less than 10 the next, but we never had drama with players when it came to accepting whatever role they needed to take for the team to be successful. I was extremely proud for what those were, not what they didn't accomplish.

The reality is, while their record may not reflect it from a wins-losses perspective, I find that team to be one of the most successful ones I've ever had the privilege of coaching - they could have looked at the first half of the season and just kept falling - but they stayed determined to find a way to be successful, put the effort forth, and finished the season on a very respectable note.

If you know me, you probably know I'm a huge John Wooden fan - my blog is named after one of his mantras. I always appreciated his definition of success (Peace of mind which is a direct result of self satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do the best of which you are capable), but this was the first time I truly felt it.

I left Mercer and Division I that year - I simply couldn't afford all of my bills (While I was the only assistant, it was a GA position. Being 25 and naive, I believed the coach when she said I would have the time to work a part-time gig to pay my student loans, having no true grasp of what the administrative aspect would entail at this level as the only assistant). Looking back on it, it was probably for the best. While I cared a lot about the players, I didn't have a passion for spending only 20 hours in the gym with players, then another 80-90 in an office breaking down film and/or recruiting. I didn't like the politics of revenue vs. non-revenue sports, I didn't like the imbalance of student/athletics, and it was disappointing to me how little I felt those girls were appreciated for how much they accomplished compared to the expectations for them that year. I respect the attention to detail and passion coaches have to have to work at that level - I cared more about developing people both on and off the court, and felt like my personal goals for coaching didn't align with the culture that I felt Division I provided.

What solidified my decision was the political part of things - I gave the coach advance notice about my decision and helped get everything prepared for someone to take my place. However, she did not want to risk my housing spot being taken away and used for another sport, so she asked me to keep it private until the last minute. While my intentions were to respect the coach's request, I felt absolutely awful for the team that I had bonded with that season. I had to look my girls in the eye and tell them I was stepping down, and that I'd be out of town 18 hours later. I remember the looks on their faces as I delivered the news, and to this day it is one of the worst feelings I've ever had in my life.

It is good to have a competitive nature, but I learned from coaching that team that wins and losses don't always define the success teams have. A year removed from my senior year as a player, where my team started 16-1 and sputtered to a 24-13 record and first-round conference tournament elimination, I was reminded by a young group of girls that tough times don't last, tough people do.

So while everyone is congratulating Mercer's 2014 Men's Basketball Team - I'd like to give a little credit to their 2010 Women's Volleyball Team, a special group of people that will be successful in whatever professions they decide to dedicate themselves to.

Sunday, March 16, 2014

What "Recruiting" Companies Aren't Telling You / Why I'm Starting My Own Business

I've been dipping my toes in the water on this subject for quite some time, but the more I talk with parents and athletes, the more I feel it's time to jump in and tackle this subject.

When I sat down with the Club Directors to discuss possibility working for them, I didn't have many demands. I was going to be taking a substantial pay cut, no problem. The concept of weekends were going to be gone, and I was OK with that. The one thing I NEEDED was the ability to truly be a "liaison" for our kids. They happily obliged, and while the results have been outstanding, learning about what other groups have told my families has left me quite alarmed with the culture of high school athletics and what we're telling our kids.

Over the last few years, we've seen clubs put a much larger focus on having the "College Liaison". Clubs are helping their players create videos, put their profiles online, and then sending their information out to colleges in hopes of finding someone that is interested in recruiting them. For the kids that stand out for their volleyball skills or athleticism, this process works fairly well. What about the others? More importantly, have we really been trying to get to know what they want both on/off the court, and educate them on how to find the school that best suits their wants and needs, versus "finding a school where they can play volleyball"?

I have sat with over fifty families over the last year, and while our girls are talented as players and athletes, an online profile simply does not do them justice for the PEOPLE they are. Many of our players are talented off the court as well, with stellar grades, other talents, or just a great vision for what they want to accomplish after college. While they can rehearse it and put it in a video online, I don't think it separates them as much as actually researching the school and personally reaching out to coaches, telling the coach why they specifically are interested in their institution.

More importantly, when coaching college, there simply aren't enough hours in the day to look at every profile out there - I was pumping 100 hours a week in, leaving the office at 2am, waking up at 6 just to do the whole process again - even with that, I probably only hit a very small percentage of the profiles that were put online given all the sites that have popped up. Even with the profiles I DID like, I knew the athlete wanted to play volleyball but had no idea if it was a good fit on both ends.

Now we see companies like the NCSA sprouting up, pushing their services hard on our kids. I have had multiple sophomores and their parents from our club contact me extremely concerned, saying "The NCSA contacted us and asked us if we had done x y and z, when we said we hadn't, they told us we were way behind, but if we used their services they could catch us back up."

Truth be told, they are not behind. Companies like the NCSA are using scare tactics to get kids to spend a ridiculous amount of money to use their "services" - which while they do a great job of selling kids to schools, aren't really covering the overall issue I'm seeing with both athletes AND non-athletes at the high school level.

I know my last post had the analogy but I'll use it again. We buy cars with a specific idea of what our wants/needs are. We take it for a test drive and perhaps have our mechanic take a look under the hood before making a decision. We DON'T let a salesman tell us all the great things and then sign the papers. We buy houses with a specific vision, perhaps we need more space for an addition to the family, maybe we want a location that caters to our work or hobbies. We don't let a realtor just tell us all the great things about the house and then take the mortgage. So with our kids, why are we letting these companies tell us where we should go and essentially either sell to our kids or, in the case of NCSA, SELL our kids?

A lot of parents tell me, 'we just don't know that much about the process' - which I'm all too familiar with. I transferred twice during my time in college (I was an Illinois State Scholar in High School that was in the National Honors Society three years - it wasn't because I was unintelligent). I had NO IDEA what I should be looking for when looking for schools. I didn't have a lot of guidance, and my parents were unfamiliar with the process. My question is, why aren't we doing a better job of helping educate parents and players on the process? Even if someone wants a company to do the legwork, the reality is no one has a player's best interests more than the player and their family - so why let someone else do the work on this when there's no way they can truly know the player as well?

I have known throughout my twenties that when it's all said and done, I want to leave this world better than I found it - I just didn't know how I'd do it. Between my experience as a student, coaching at the Junior College/D-III/D-I levels, and now seeing what we're "doing" for high school athletes, I believe I have found my calling. I will be starting a Consulting business for families to educate them and guide them through the process so they can TRULY find the best fit for them. I will speak at schools, clubs, and PTA's, I will hold seminars for large groups as well as do one-on-one consulting - all for a MUCH cheaper rate than these large recruiting agencies are charging. I am tired of seeing these clubs/agencies showcasing their superstar athletes, not telling the other 98% how they too can have a wonderful college experience, including the Division III level (and don't let people tell you there's no money in Division III - Athletics does play a role in Merit Aid being rewarded and if people tell you otherwise, they're the same people that don't think certain Powerhouse Division I Football/Basketball universities aren't giving players benefits). I'm tired of seeing companies pop up and use children and their parents' hopes for a bright future for them as a cash grab. One-third of college students transfer from their original school - we can help that number decrease if we do it right. I look forward to taking on this challenge.

More details to follow.

Friday, March 14, 2014

Playing College Volleyball Part Two: Finding the Right Fit.

Wednesday, I added some information on scholarship availability for women's volleyball. The numbers come as a surprise to a lot of people. That being said, that's not to say that those who want to play college volleyball will not have opportunities to do so: it just mean they may not get their education paid for in the process. This is why I push our players to push themselves in the classroom to get the grades: It will give them more opportunities.

Looking at the numbers (which are more estimates than concrete, and doesn't include data regarding club participation, but gives us a good benchmark to work with), one could argue that with around 418,000 kids playing in high school and 25,000 for college, that about 6% of kids that play in high school will have the opportunity to play in college. However, I would say that the chances are much higher than that. Many high school volleyball players compete in other sports, and will play those sports in college instead. Aside from them, others are focused on other interests and do not want to play volleyball in college. I have seen the top Division I teams and the lowest Division III teams: I firmly believe that if you play club volleyball in high school and REALLY want to play in college, the opportunity is there. However, certain things should be considered.

When I sit down with players and parents, We discuss their ideal situation: what do they want outside of volleyball? Have they thought about what they want to study, what are your grades, do you have a preference in geographic location (I have read articles that actually think this isn't good - while I agree that you shouldn't break your bank simply to go to college in your dream location, it doesn't mean you can't look there if you have grades/ability that will allow you to do it for the same cost), school size, or any other factors that matter to them?

The idea isn't for them to necessarily know all these things - the reality of the situation is I can cook a meal for someone, tell them the ingredients, how I prepare it, and what it should taste like - until they take a bite, they won't know what THEY think about it. However, the more thought students put into what they want from their experience, the more confident they can be about making the right choice for them.

At that point we discuss the volleyball aspect of it - I ask them about what they environment they would be most comfortable with:

a) Joining a team that is a legitimate contender in their respective National Championship each year - playing time all 4 years can be worked for but there is no guarantee.

b) Joining a team that is in the middle of the pack, but could compete for a conference title. Playing time doesn't happen freshman year, but if the player works hard the opportunity will be there to move into a starting role.

c) Joining a team that has not been successful in wins and losses, but player could potentially start freshman year and maintain their role should they continue to work hard.

The purpose isn't to say that they will have one of these scenarios, it is to make them think about what they value and what they would like to envision their playing experience to be. Truth be told, I have had athletes that have said "I just want to win - I don't care what role I play" - I have also had athletes that say "I'd like to have the opportunity to start all four years". From there we can talk about how to hunt for programs that best fit their description.

While we can look for a place that history dictates will be similar to their wants, I also remind them that things can change outside of their control, and they'll have to be open to that possibility. Coaches can leave that helped built that program - My coach had a nationally-ranked team for 4 years, and once he left, the program went from being a regular 20-game winner back to single digits immediately following his recruits' departure. You can go to a school that appears like they NEED you, only to find the coach has 2 other recruits coming in at the same position that have the same goals you do, or perhaps a returner put in a rigorous off-season and isn't so willing to give up their spot on the court. I want to make sure that they understand that should the experience not go exactly as desired, they are willing to do what will be expected of them.

All of this information may seem disheartening, but better to accept the possible outcomes instead of getting blindsided with them once they're already committed/on campus. My goal with all of my kids is to get them to pick the school that's right for them after thinking about what they want - it requires some legwork on their end, but it's worth it if it finds them the school that they're going to be happy attending, that will bring out their best and set them up to succeed in the real world. I am not shy to say that I feel organizations/college liaisons of many clubs are not doing it right for their kids by simply throwing their film/specs out there and hoping a school shows interest (and don't try to tell me they don't - most clubs are more concerned with being able to say they send kids to play at college moreso than if it's a good fit, and the amount some of these organizations are charging is absolutely ludicrous, especially with the tools we have at our disposal online).

If the kids go to a school with no specific thought process about what they want, the coaches/tour guide are going to make that school sound perfect. That's their job, and that's not going to change - but if we were to buy a house, we wouldn't let the realtor tell us all about the house and buy it without inspecting it ourselves, or having an idea on what WE wanted to get out of it. If we were to buy a car, we wouldn't just let the salesman tell us all the great specs on it and buy it - we'd take it for a test drive, perhaps have our mechanic look at it - all while knowing WHY we want the car (more passenger space, better gas mileage, etc.) - so why wouldn't we make our athletes put a little more thought into what they want from college before investing years and a large amount of money into it? This applies to non-athletes as well!

The reality is, if you truly want to play college volleyball, there are opportunities. I have seen schools pulling kids from soccer teams/basketball teams to fill out their roster. They are smaller schools, their programs are in a rebuilding phase - but there are definitely programs that would be extremely happy to have anyone with club experience. The player just has to look at the overall environment and decide where their priorities lie.

With a little preparation and guidance, there is no reason players can't find a school that makes them happy - with over 1,500 options, it's just a matter of doing the research and finding the right one!

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Playing College Volleyball Part One - Scholarships By the Numbers

The NCAA released some statistics today regarding the probability of high school students to be able to compete in college for their sport (the link can be found here). I know I wasn't the only one that thought "What about Volleyball???" - so I figured I'd write a little piece with some other sites that gives information on this subject matter on our sport.

Before reading further, the numbers will most likely disappoint a lot of high school athletes and parents. Don't let this deter you - while the amount of athletic scholarships are limited, we will talk about the other opportunities to play in college (and looking for financial assistance). I will be focusing on the Women's side of the game for now, but if people would like information on the men's side, please contact me and I'd be happy to write a separate blog for that.

In 2013, ScholarshipStats.com released numbers on participation for college volleyball (link for scholarship availability) (link for participation information) - so what does this all mean?

Let's start with scholarships: There are currently 331 Division I schools that have Women's Volleyball. At this level, it is a 'head-count' sport, which means each scholarship is a full-ride and awarded to one individual. For Division II, there are 287 schools that have Women's Volleyball. It is an 'equivalency' sport, which means their scholarships can be split and divided as the coach sees fit (If a coach had 8 to give away, she could do 8 full-ride, 16 1/2's, and so on). Division I can have up to 12 scholarships, and Division II can have up to 8 scholarships - that does not mean that their athletic programs are 'fully-funded' and provide all of these.

So in a best-case scenario, for the NCAA you would be looking at 6,268 scholarships that are available for Division I and Division II. There's also the NAIA (National Association of Intercollegiate Athletics), who are up to 226 schools and award up to 8 scholarships per team - best-case, that's an additional 1,808 scholarships that would be available. The NJCAA (Junior Colleges) have 98 Division I schools (Up to 14 full-ride scholarships) and 127 Division II schools (Up to 14 scholarships of tuition, fees, and books) - that's 1,372 for Division I and 1,778 for Division II. SO, according to the statistics taken from NFHS, NCAA, NAIA, Scholarshipstats, and NJCAA, and high-balling it making the assumption that EVERY school uses EVERY scholarship slot:

Amount of girls participating in high school: 418,903
Amount of NCAA Division I Scholarships: 3,972 (.95%)
Amount of NCAA Division II Scholarships*:  2,296 (.54%)
Amount of NAIA Scholarships: 1,808 (.43%)
Amount of NJCAA Division I Scholarships: 1,372 (.32%)
Amount of NJCAA Division II Scholarships: 1,778 (.42%)
Amount of Full Ride Scholarships (NCAA D-I, NAIA, NJCAA D-I/II**: 8,930 (2.1%)

*Can be broken up, so while more than 2,296 athletes will get Division II scholarships, less will get a full ride
** For 4-Year schools, this will be dropped to  5,780, or 1.4%

The reality is, it is VERY hard to get a scholarship exclusively for volleyball. This is why as college liaison for my club, I'm always preaching to our girls about getting the grades - it will open more doors for them. By no means should they give up on going for an athletic scholarship - I just tell them not to put all the eggs in that basket.

I will write Part Two tomorrow, which will discuss playing opportunities in college outside of scholarships.



Monday, March 10, 2014

My 3 Golden Rules of Club Coaching

We're about halfway through club season, and it's been quite a roller coaster. I remember when I was coaching college hearing all the horror stories from club coaches about the issues they had with unhappy players and parents. I went into my first club experience three years ago expecting the worst - and then found myself pleasantly surprised by not having nearly as many of those conversations as I expected.

Don't get me wrong, there are cases where you get that extreme parent/player that has their mind set and there's no changing it - just like how some clubs have coaches with minimal experience that sat in a classroom for 3 hours to get their impact certification and that's about the extent of their training. That being said, this is the time of the year where I find the most discussions between parents and coaches, as they have had enough time to make an assessment and typically tell you "Great job" or "I'm concerned with x". Here are my 3 pieces of advice to help you achieve the former.

1) Meet With the Parents/Players Before the First Practice and Lay the Foundation for the Season.

A great way to cut off those uncomfortable conversations is by giving them your philosophy/expectations right off the bat. Here is the general speech I give every team I coach:

"I realize many of you have aspirations to play college - and I think that's a realistic goal for every and anyone that wants to do it. Between the NCAA Division I/I/III, NJCAA, and NAIA, there are over 1500 schools to play volleyball at. There will be options. But know this: Some clubs will promote the Division I scholarship as the "golden egg". They will promote their biggest and brightest prospects and give the false impression that by playing at their club, you too can become a Division I athlete."

The reality is, while a lot of kids work incredibly hard at the sport, 2 percent of high school seniors actually get full-ride scholarships. Those athletes aren't just busting their tail for the small amount of time we have them during the week. Those athletes are working out on their own. Eating Healthy. Taking care of their bodies so that when we're at practice, they are fully focused on learning volleyball. We will guide our players to help them along their quest, but 4-9 hours a week of practice doesn't make an athlete. Clubs don't MAKE the athlete Division I caliber - our job is to give them a solid foundation for a small portion of the week, so that they can take those tools and utilize them however they want the 150+ hours we aren't in charge of them.

Those athletes then go to college and have 6AM weights, class, individual practices, team practices, film study, mandatory study hall, constant meetings with the trainer as their bodies are being pushed to the limits. If you have an away trip for Friday/Saturday games, you'll have to make up your Thursday classes most likely. We can pretend all we want that it's student first, athlete second, but know that you will work for EVERY penny of that scholarship.

This is not to scare you, this is not to deter you. It's to educate you on the aspect that it's not just traveling around the country in beautiful facilities, playing with and against the best competition in the country. We are constantly told "You can grow up to be whatever you want to be" - sometimes, they add "if you really want it", but EVERY time, it should end with "but the amount of work you'll have to put in is more than you probably realize at this moment".


I will not make false promises and say I will turn you or your child into a superstar - and playing time is a privilege, not a right. The reality is, I can only have six people on the court at one time - it's not me "not letting your child play", it's me giving another player an opportunity. When they go to their high school teams and college teams (or the workfield for that matter), they will not always be entitled to automatic "play time". My promise to you is that each player will get my individual attention, and they will improve physically/mentally if they give their effort when they're in the gym. My goal is to give them the foundation to play at a higher level at a later age - while I want all of my players to come back and say how much they enjoyed our season, I hope I never hear one of them tell me those were their "glory days" or best volleyball: I want them to tell me how the things they learned and the pressure time situations I put them in allowed them to excel at what they did when they left me - that includes off the court.

I do not preach wins and losses - we will win games where we play poorly, and we will lose games where we do everything right. My goals for the team is to give our best effort every moment we're investing into this team. And if we do that, you'll be surprised how many times we end up getting the results we want. "Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you want" - when things didn't go well, look within (or for the parents, look at your child) and say "What could YOU have done differently to help achieve a better result.

All that being said, I am very excited to work with you and your children. I am always willing to take feedback in - know that I don't expect to see eye-to-eye with everything I do. I will always tell you why I make my decisions or do things the way I do them. I will do this the day after a tournament, as it's best for all parties involved to sleep on their thoughts and let the high emotion of the matches to settle.

Should your children have other commitments, I respect that - I don't want them to miss out on exploring other passions/hobbies if that's where they want to be. Your fee has been paid, you can choose to put as much or little time into the team as you decide, and I won't stop you from doing so. My request is to give me as much advance notice as possible so I can plan my practices/lineups accordingly. I also ask that you don't take it personal should other players get more playing time - again, it's me rewarding those who show up, not punishing your child. If your child misses a significant amount of practices, know that I will do everything to catch them up to speed, but I can't help if they aren't getting the same growth as the other players. This is not a judgment, just reality.

If there are any issues with this, please let me know before we start, because these are the expectations for the season. I firmly believe if we stay true to it, every player here will both have a good time, as well as make huge strides in their game. Should you have any questions or comments, please let me know - I can't wait for the season to start, and look forward to getting to know you all better as the season goes on!"

2) Be Consistent.

You can't stop parents from disagreeing with what you do - but building on #1, you can always stay firm with what you do when you set the expectations from day 1. Above is my mantra - it is not necessarily the right way to do things for each coach, and CERTAINLY not the only way. You have to find your coaching style that best suits your strengths. Just know that everything you say to them is something they will hold you accountable for, and should you flip-flop, team mutiny can be swift and painful. Make your plan, educate them on it, and stick to it!

3) Explain Why When They Ask.

I have talked with hundreds of parents over the last year, with a huge range of issues/questions. While the conversations vary, one of the main things you hear them start with is "I don't understand". Too often, we get hung up on the tone, or if we disagree completely with what they're saying (And yes, they can be quite off-base with a lot of their comments). DON'T LOSE FOCUS ON THE FIRST PART. Most of the time, their frustration isn't because they disagree with you - it's because they have a desire in their head, their child isn't getting it, and they don't know why, all while paying a significant amount of money and investing a large portion of time in the process.

As long as you follow rules 1 and 2, explaining calmly why things are being done the way they are and making them realize you're doing it with a purpose will make them understand that your goals for their child's development align with theirs. Some parents aren't happy with what I say, but they see where I'm coming from. It's not across the board, and some are less pleasant than others, but it allows me to have peace of mind knowing that I've explained it to them, I've stayed true to my values that I put forth before we stepped onto the court, that I have nothing to feel bad about. It also gives your Club Director a better opportunity to go to bat for you should it escalate if you've built that foundation.


I wish all the Clubs luck as Qualifiers begin, and hope that this helped!



Monday, March 3, 2014

How Do You Want To Be Remembered?

I woke up this morning to very sad news - Lamar McClinton, a former Resident Director at Newbury College, passed away unexpectedly. Only in his 20's, he was taken far too soon in yet another cruel reminder that tomorrow is promised to no one. I didn't have the pleasure of knowing Lamar well as I was in my last semester when he first came to campus, but the outpouring of love/stories that have surfaced since the news goes to show that his impact on those around him was very positive.

Death always brings a lot of thoughts to my mind: I flash back to 17, when I went to the wake for my Driver's Ed teacher, Mr. Wilkin. I only got to know him for a month or two, but I have no doubt I had one of the best Driver's Ed teachers I could have possibly have asked for. He wanted to know what our passions/goals were. He used to have us drive to places for lunch, pay for our meal and tell us stories, painting vivid pictures of his life with his words. We even went to his house where he showed us around and told us about his family. He could have just gone through the motions, gave us our lesson and sent us on our way, but he decided to make our Driver's Ed class about so much more.

I had attended wakes/funerals before, but this one was very different. The line to pay respects to him was out the door, and the wait was somewhere around 30-35 minutes. As I sat in line for a man that I spent all of a month or two with, I was so impressed to hear all the different stories people were swapping about the man I knew so little about: Funny stories, inspiring stories, people sharing facts  that no one else knew - it was easily the least stressful wait in line I've ever been in. At the end, there was a list of 21 rules to living your life that Mr. Wilkin wanted everyone to have upon his passing - I still have that piece of paper to this day, and have no doubt in my mind he lived by those rules.

I knew at that point that I wanted to be remembered/impact lives the way he did, although I had no idea how I would do it. Dave Hildebrandt at Newbury was a pivotal figure in helping me find my passion and pushing me to be my best every day. Like Lamar, he was taken too soon from us at the age of 29. I don't want to go too much into detail in this blog - you can read up on Dave's impact on me here, here, or here. Passings of this nature can have a double impact: They make us think about the impact the person had on us, as well as make us realize that tomorrow is promised to no one, no matter how young they may be. I am sure like I did 5 years ago, many people today are thinking about what they're doing currently and if it aligns with what they want their legacy to be.

If you knew you only had 6 months left to live, what would you do with it? How would you change what you're doing now? Are there people that you would reach out to and say something you've been holding in up to this point? Vince Lombardi said a quote on his deathbed that resonates with me every day. "I'm not afraid to die, it's just that I had so much left to do in this world" - when it's my time to go, I'll be ready - I just want to make sure I make the most of my time here.

When people pass, they may no longer be here physically, but memories with them and lessons taught live on - I take Dave and his positive impact on me and share them with as many people as possible. I have no doubt others will do the same with Lamar. For the short term, take this opportunity to do something you've been meaning to do but just haven't gotten around to it. Call someone you haven't talked to for awhile and catch up - tell them you Love them, or perhaps call someone whose bridge you may have burned (or vice versa) and start rebuilding it. Do something for a complete stranger just for the sake of doing it. Do something for YOURSELF that you haven't taken the time to do because you've just been too busy.

Every day, we have the ability to make the world a little better than we found it that morning, even if it's just making one person smile. My thoughts are with Lamar's family and friends, as well as the Newbury Community. Rest in Peace sir - take comfort in knowing while you were taken too soon, it's evident that you left people better than you found them, and that will live on with those people everywhere they go.